3:00 AM in San Diego: Racing Thoughts and Realizations
There’s something about the stillness of 3:00 AM that invites clarity—and not going to lie, a little chaos. I am keynoting here in San Diego and cannot fall asleep, and as my mind raced through a kaleidoscope of thoughts, questions, and ideas, I though I would share some with you. Here’s where I landed, and I’d love to hear your perspective too.
Am I Ready to Stop Being Who I Thought I Had to Be?
For so long, I’ve clung to a vision of who I believed I had to be. A version molded by expectations, comparisons, and old stories I didn’t even realize I was telling myself. The question isn’t simply “Am I ready to stop?” but also “Who would I be without those narratives?” It feels both liberating and terrifying to shed that skin, and maybe that’s where growth begins: in letting go of who I thought I had to be so I can finally step into who I am meant to be.
Who Am I?
The age-old question that hits differently at 3:00 AM. What if the answer isn’t static but fluid? I decided to make two lists: Who I Am and Who I Am Not. The act of naming these things—no matter how messy or incomplete—felt like reclaiming a little bit of control in a chaotic world.
- Who I Am: Curious. Determined. Compassionate. Work in progress. (there are more lol)
- Who I Am Not: Perfect. Defined by my past. Limited by fear. A. (there are A LOT more lol)
Making these lists felt clarifying. Have you ever tried this exercise? It’s not about judgment—it’s about awareness.
Anxiety and the Unknown
Lately, anxiety has felt like an unwelcome house guest who overstays their welcome. My mantra has been:
“Don’t let the energy of the unknown affect the enjoyment of the now.”
Chelsea’s advice really struck me: Depression comes from living in the past, anxiety comes from focusing too much on the future, and joy comes from being present. It’s deceptively simple, and so true. Anchoring myself in now isn’t easy, but it’s essential. I am really trying!
What does “being present” look like for you? For me, it’s breathing deeply, noticing the details around me, and reminding myself that the one thing I can control is this moment.
Operating in Low vs. High States
I will do another article on this but ever notice how your creative output changes depending on your emotional state? In a low state, everything feels forced, heavy, and uninspired. But when I’m in a high state—energized, joyful, and aligned—ideas flow effortlessly.
The trick is figuring out how to shift from one to the other. For me, movement helps (a walk, a workout, even standing up), as does music and connecting with someone who inspires me. What helps you elevate your state? Would an infographic help with this? I want to put one together.
Discipline: The Root and the Challenge
The word discipline comes from the Latin discipulus, meaning “student.” which can also mean to learn. When I think of it this way, discipline becomes less about punishment and more about learning, growth, and mastery. Yet, it’s still one of the hardest things to cultivate.
Why? Because discipline often means choosing delayed gratification, discomfort, and uncertainty in pursuit of something greater. It’s resisting the allure of easy distractions in favor of staying true to your bigger vision. This is food for me, lol!
Here’s the question that haunted me at 3:00 AM: What could I accomplish if I truly embraced discipline?
It’s not about perfection. It’s about showing up consistently, even when it’s hard.
So…
San Diego’s night has turned to morning, but my mind is still buzzing. Maybe these questions will linger, or maybe they’ll evolve into actions and answers over time. Either way, I know this: The best discoveries happen when I’m willing to lean into the discomfort of uncertainty and ask myself the tough questions.
What about you? What’s been keeping you up at night—and what are you doing with it? Let’s turn those 3:00 AM racing thoughts into something meaningful.
