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Ryan Avery Weird

Why How We Feel Matters More Than How We Look

By Leadership, Motivation No Comments

In our world where appearance often can takes center stage, it’s easy to get caught up in the quest for the perfect look. Social media is flooded with images of seemingly flawless people, leading many to equate our worth with physical appearance. However, I believe while looking good might bring temporary validation, it’s how we feel that truly impacts our lives in meaningful, lasting ways.

The Trap of Appearance

Most of us have heard the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” It’s true that how we present ourselves can influence how others perceive us. However, placing too much emphasis on outward appearance can lead to a superficial existence. When we focus solely on how we look, we might neglect deeper aspects of our well-being, such as emotional health, mental clarity, and self-worth. This can create a disconnect between our external image and our internal state, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression.

Moreover, the pressure to maintain a certain appearance can be exhausting. It’s a moving target—what’s considered attractive today might change tomorrow. Trends come and go, and trying to keep up can be overwhelming. This constant pursuit can distract us from what truly matters: how we feel inside.

The Power of Feeling Good

How we feel is the direct reflection of our inner state and our internal dialouge. When we prioritize our feelings, we’re tuning in to what our body, mind, and spirit need. This self-awareness allows us to make choices that align with our true selves, leading to greater fulfillment and happiness.

Feeling good isn’t simply about being happy all the time; it’s about being in touch with our emotions and understanding what they’re telling us. When we feel stressed, our body is signaling that something is off balance. When we feel energized, it’s the sign that we’re on the right path. By paying attention to these cues, we can make adjustments that improve our overall well-being.

Why Focusing on Feelings Leads to Better Results

  1. Sustainable Health: When we focus on how we feel, we make choices that support our long-term health. Rather than following a restrictive diet simply to fit into a certain size, we choose nourishing foods that make us feel energized and vibrant. Instead of punishing ourselves with grueling workouts, we find physical activities that we enjoy and that leave us feeling strong and capable. I have been known to do this with things like The Whole 30 or P90X. Now I am focused on what best nourishes my body while doing activities I enjoy and move my body at the same time like paragliding and swimming.
  2. Authentic Confidence: True confidence comes from within. It’s not about looking a certain way but feeling good about who we are. When we prioritize our feelings, we build the strong sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. This authentic confidence allows us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace.
  3. Better Relationships: How we feel affects how we relate to others. When we’re in tune with our emotions, we can communicate more effectively and build deeper, more meaningful connections. By focusing on our inner state, we become better partners, friends, and colleagues.
  4. Greater Success: Success is often seen as the result of hard work and perseverance, but it’s also about feeling good in the process. When we’re aligned with our true selves, we’re more motivated, creative, and productive. This leads to better outcomes in all areas of life, from our careers to our personal goals.

How to Shift the Focus from Looks to Feelings

  • Practice Mindfulness: Take time each day to check in with yourself. How do we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally? This awareness is the first step in making choices that support our well-being. Trying looking in the mirror today and saying nice things about yourself and to yourself! I have been doing this lately and it has been working really well for me!
  • Set Intentions Based on Feelings: Instead of setting goals based on appearance, set intentions based on how you want to feel. For example, aim to feel more energized, peaceful, or fulfilled. Let these intentions guide your actions.
  • Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who value you for who you are, not simply how you look. Positive relationships can reinforce the importance of inner well-being. Remember, “because they were your friend, does not mean they have to be your friend!” 
  • Embrace Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax, self-care practices help you feel your best, both inside and out.Remember, “Self-care is not selfish!”

While it’s natural to care about how we look, it’s how we feel that truly shapes our lives. By prioritizing our feelings, we create a foundation of well-being that supports sustainable health, authentic confidence, better relationships, and greater success. In the end, feeling good is more than a goal—it’s the key to living the fulfilling, meaningful life we want. So, the next time we catch ourselves worrying about our appearance, take a moment to check in with how we feel. That’s where the real magic happens. Keep being THE!