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Oct 01

Mental Health vs. Mental Fitness: Why We Should Work Our Brains as Hard as Our Bodies

By Ryan Avery Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth No Comments

Mental Health vs. Mental Fitness: Why We Should Work Our Brains as Hard as Our Bodies

The first time I heard someone mention metnal fitness (in relation to mental health) was Simon Sinek. In recent years, there’s been a growing awareness about mental health, and rightfully so, however very little has been talked about in relation to mental fitness. And to me it is as important as physical health. While mental health is about managing mental illness and emotional well-being, mental fitness is all about strengthening the mind—building resilience, sharpening focus, and improving cognitive endurance. Like physical fitness, mental fitness requires consistent effort. Here’s why working our brains out is as essential as hitting the gym and how we can make that happen.

The Difference Between Mental Health and Mental Fitness

Mental Health: This term refers to our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It includes managing stress, how we think and feel, and how we navigate life’s challenges. Mental health can be affected by trauma, stress, genetics, and lifestyle, and it often requires professional support when someone is dealing with mental illness, like anxiety, depression, or other mood disorders.
Mental Fitness: Mental fitness is about proactively strengthening the brain, much like we do with our muscles. It focuses on cognitive abilities like memory, attention, focus, and emotional regulation. Building mental fitness helps us not simply respond better to stress and challenges but also enhances our overall cognitive capacity and emotional intelligence.

Why Work Out Our Brains?

Like your body, your brain needs regular stimulation to stay sharp. We wouldn’t expect to run a marathon without training our body, right? The same goes for our mind. If we want mental clarity, better focus, and resilience to stress, we’ve got to work for it.

Builds Resilience: A well-trained mind handles stress and adversity better. By challenging our brain regularly, we enhance its ability to cope with tough situations and bounce back from setbacks more quickly.
Improves Focus and Productivity: Mental fitness exercises improve cognitive functions like focus, memory, and problem-solving skills. This means better performance at work, in social settings, and in our personal life.
Emotional Stability: As physical exercise releases endorphins, strengthening your mental fitness can help regulate emotions, keep our mood balanced, and reduce the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed by stress or anxiety.
Prevents Cognitive Decline: Regular mental workouts help protect against age-related cognitive decline. Keeping the brain active and challenged slows down the onset of dementia and other neurodegenerative diseases.

How to Work Out Our Brain

Here are some effective ways to build our mental fitness:

Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness exercises help enhance our awareness and focus. Meditation trains our brain to control our thoughts and emotions better, reducing stress and increasing clarity. Start with 5-10 minutes a day and gradually increase.
Learn Something New: Challenge our brain by learning a new skill or hobby. Whether it’s picking up a musical instrument, learning a new language, or trying a new craft, our brain forms new neural connections, strengthening its capacity for learning and problem-solving.
Physical Exercise: Believe it or not, physical exercise benefits mental fitness. Cardiovascular activities increase blood flow to the brain, which enhances memory and cognitive function. Yoga and Tai Chi are also excellent for both mind and body coordination, although I am not going to lie, I need to imporve my stretching durng Yoga 🙂
Play Brain Games: Puzzles, brain teasers, and strategy games are fantastic ways to engage our mind. Apps like Lumosity or Elevate offer structured brain training programs to enhance memory, focus, and cognitive speed and they are great for me when I am on the plane.
Journaling: Writing helps organize our thoughts and improves self-awareness. I am more of a jotter than a writer and that still helps me too. It can serve as a reflective practice that clarifies emotions, reduces mental clutter, and improves cognitive processing.
Get Adequate Sleep: Sleep is essential for mental recovery and brain health. It’s when our brain processes information, solidifies memories, and repairs itself. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep to maintain mental sharpness. I know this can be hard for some of us who are parents to young kids too, so give ourselves some grace during this time.
Healthy Diet: A diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, and nutrients like vitamin E and B vitamins supports brain function. What we eat can either fuel or fog our mental fitness, so nourish your brain with the right foods.
Challenge Your Beliefs: Engage in conversations that make us think differently, read books that expand our comfort zone, or even take up debates on challenging topics (maybe avodi politics right now, ha). This kind of intellectual stretching helps us stay mentally flexible and open-minded.

Balance is Key

Mental health and mental fitness go hand in hand. While mental health ensures that we are emotionally well, mental fitness ensures that our minds are strong and resilient. As physical exercise keeps our bodies healthy, consistent brain workouts help keep our minds agile and adaptive.

Incorporating both into our life—being mindful of our emotional well-being and actively challenging our mind—will lead to the more balanced, fulfilled, and successful life.

Sep 23

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The Power of “Do” vs. “Don’t” in Shaping Behavior and Outcomes

By Ryan Avery Business, Communication, Motivation, Personal Growth, Productivity, Self-Improvement No Comments

The Power of “Do” vs. “Don’t” in Shaping Behavior and Outcomes

As I share in most of my posts, the language is what we use to shape our perceptions, influences our behavior, and can ultimately determine the outcomes of our actions. One subtle but impactful way this happens is through the use of positive versus negative commands—specifically, using “Do” versus “Don’t.” While both serve to guide behavior, their psychological and emotional effects can be drastically different. Understanding how and when to use these phrases can help improve communication, productivity, and even the way we see ourselves.

The Psychology Behind “Do” and “Don’t”

At the heart of the “Do” versus “Don’t” dichotomy is how the human brain processes information. Research in cognitive psychology suggests that people are more likely to focus on and remember the main idea or action presented in a statement, regardless of whether it is framed positively or negatively. In simple terms, when someone says “Don’t think about a pink elephant,” most people immediately picture a pink elephant. The brain has to process the idea of the pink elephant before it can process the negation.

This is why “Don’t” can often have the opposite of its intended effect. When we tell someone, or even ourselves, “Don’t procrastinate,” the word “procrastinate” becomes the focal point, potentially reinforcing the very behavior we’re trying to avoid. On the other hand, a positive command like “Do your work on time” directs attention to the desired behavior, making it clearer and easier to follow.

The Impact of Positive Framing

Using “Do” statements taps into the power of positive reinforcement. Positive commands focus on the action we want to see, providing clarity and a roadmap for success. When we say “Do eat your vegetables” instead of “Don’t eat junk food,” the focus shifts to a specific, beneficial action rather than an abstract negation.

This principle applies in various settings:

In the Workplace: Managers and leaders who frame their expectations using “Do” rather than “Don’t” can foster a more constructive, goal-oriented culture. For example, telling an employee, “Do prioritize important tasks first” is likely more effective than “Don’t get distracted by unimportant tasks.” The former gives clear direction, while the latter only highlights what to avoid without suggesting an alternative.
Parenting: We as parents often tell their children what not to do—”Don’t run in the house,” “Don’t touch that,” “Don’t yell.” While these commands are well-meaning, they can be confusing or frustrating for a child, who may not understand what behavior is expected of them. Reframing these as positive commands like “Walk carefully inside” or “Use your inside voice” helps children grasp what is acceptable and reinforces good behavior.
Self-Talk: The way we speak to ourselves is as important as how we communicate with others. Negative self-talk, such as “Don’t mess up” or “Don’t be lazy,” can create anxiety and diminish motivation. Replacing these with “Do your best” or “Stay focused” shifts the focus to achievable actions, improving both mindset and performance.

The Pitfalls of “Don’t”

There are certainly situations where “Don’t” is necessary—particularly when safety is at risk (“Don’t touch the hot stove!”). However, over-reliance on negative framing can lead to several unintended consequences:

Increased Anxiety: Constantly hearing or telling oneself what not to do can create a sense of restriction and anxiety. The focus becomes avoiding mistakes, which can lead to overthinking or paralysis by analysis, where fear of failure stifles action altogether.
Ambiguity: “Don’t” statements often leave room for misinterpretation. If we tell someone “Don’t rush,” do we mean “Take your time” or “Work more carefully”? Without clear guidance on what the alternative is, the listener may become confused or even ignore the instruction altogether.
Focus on the Negative: “Don’t” statements can create a negative atmosphere, especially when used frequently. Whether in personal relationships, the workplace, or even self-reflection, focusing on the “don’ts” can lead to feelings of inadequacy or constant correction, which is demotivating.

Striking the Right Balance

While the research supports the benefits of positive framing, this doesn’t mean we should eliminate “Don’t” from our vocabulary entirely. There are moments when it’s appropriate—especially when addressing behaviors that pose immediate harm or when a direct “stop” is necessary. The key is in balancing these directives with positive alternatives.

For example, instead of only saying “Don’t be late,” we could say, “Make sure you’re on time.” This combination acknowledges what needs to be avoided while providing a clear, positive action to replace it.

Conclusion

The distinction between “Do” and “Don’t” may seem subtle, yet it holds significant power in shaping both behavior and outcomes. By focusing on what we do want, rather than what we want to avoid, we set clearer, more positive expectations that are easier to follow and internalize. Whether in the workplace, at home, or in our own self-talk, leaning toward “Do” over “Don’t” can promote a more constructive, empowered mindset and lead to more successful outcomes.

Sep 16

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Experience vs. Experiences: Why Varied Experiences Matter More Than Time for Effective Leadership

By Ryan Avery Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement No Comments

Experience vs. Experiences: Why Varied Experiences Matter More Than Time for Effective Leadership

I have found that in certain leadership circles, the concepts of “experience” and “experiences” are often confused or used interchangeably, but they carry distinct meanings and implications for our growth and effectiveness. For leaders, focusing on the depth and variety of our experiences is far more beneficial than merely counting the number of years we’ve been in a position.

Differentiating Experience from Experiences

Experience typically refers to the total amount of time spent in a specific role or field. For instance, having a decade of managerial experience indicates ten years of time in that position. However, this duration doesn’t necessarily reflect the range or diversity of situations encountered.

Experiences, however, encompass the varied situations and challenges faced over time. This includes different roles undertaken, teams led, obstacles overcome, and lessons learned. It’s not merely about how long we’ve been active but about the breadth and depth of the scenarios we’ve navigated.

Why Varied Experiences Outweigh Time Alone

Breadth of Knowledge:
- Experience: Simply accumulating time in one role or position might limit exposure to different facets of leadership. If our role remains static or we stay within a narrow scope, our knowledge may become restricted.
- Experiences: Engaging in a variety of experiences—such as leading diverse teams, managing different projects, and working in various organizational cultures—expands our understanding. This comprehensive knowledge allows us to approach problems from multiple perspectives and develop innovative solutions.
Adaptability and Growth:
- Experience: Longevity in a position might sometimes lead to stagnation. Performing the same tasks in the same manner year after year can limit growth.
- Experiences: Encountering new challenges and expanding our comfort zones foster adaptability. Leaders who actively seek and embrace diverse experiences are better prepared to handle unexpected situations and drive change effectively.
Skill Development:
- Experience: This is one of the biggest ones I mention to my clients, simply spending time in a role does not guarantee skill development. Skills improve through practice, feedback, and reflection.
- Experiences: A broad range of experiences encourages the development and refinement of the more extensive set of skills. Experiences provide opportunities to learn and grow, enhancing our leadership capabilities.
Perspective and Empathy:
- Experience: Years spent in a single role might provide a limited perspective that remains unchallenged if not actively expanded.
- Experiences: Exposure to diverse experiences helps us understand different viewpoints and contexts. This variety fosters empathy and improves our ability to connect with and lead diverse teams.
Innovation and Creativity:
- Experience: A narrow focus can sometimes result in a fixed mindset, where reliance on established methods prevails.
- Experiences: Engaging in a range of experiences promotes creative thinking and innovation. Facing different challenges and environments stimulates new approaches and solutions.

Cultivating Valuable Experiences

To ensure our experiences are enriching and beneficial, here are a few things to consider…

Seek Diverse Opportunities: Look for projects or roles that challenge us in new ways. This could mean volunteering for cross-functional teams or exploring different industries.
Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on our experiences. What lessons have been learned? How can these lessons be applied moving forward?
Pursue Continuous Learning: Invest in learning opportunities such as courses, workshops, and mentorship to continually expand our knowledge and skills.
Embrace Change: Be open to change and new experiences. Expanding our comfort zones can lead to significant growth and development.
Relabel Failure: Instead of seeing things as a failure, label things as experiences so we know we are growing and expanding in ways others might not be.

All I wanted to share in this article is the idea that, in leadership, the quality and diversity of our experiences often outweigh the sheer quantity of time spent in a role. By focusing on cultivating a variety of experiences, we position ourselves to be more effective, adaptable, and innovative leaders. It’s not simply about how long we’ve been in the game, but how well we’ve played it, shoot, and how many plays we have been a part of (are we on the field or on the sidelines?). So, let’s seek out new challenges, embrace diverse experiences, and continuously strive to grow and evolve as leaders. Our leadership journey will be all the more impactful for it.

Sep 10

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The Balance Between Ambition and Contentment: Striving for More While Appreciating What We Have

By Ryan Avery Communication, Motivation, Productivity No Comments

In today’s fast-paced, goal-driven world, ambition is often celebrated as the key to success. We hear it in motivational speeches, read it in business books, and see it played out in the lives of those we admire. But what happens when ambition takes over, leaving no room for contentment?

Is it possible to be both ambitious and content, and if so, how do we strike that delicate balance?

Being overly ambitious without the ability to appreciate where we are can lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and even unhappiness. On the flip side, being too content can cause stagnation, a lack of growth, and unfulfilled potential. Ugh, so what do we do? Well, the real magic lies in finding the balance between ambition and contentment—striving for more while also embracing the present moment.

The Importance of Ambition

Ambition drives us to reach new heights, push our limits, and set higher goals. It’s the force behind growth, achievement, and self-improvement. Without ambition, we wouldn’t challenge ourselves to improve or create new opportunities. It’s what keeps us moving forward. Ambition allows us to ask questions like, “How will this add value to my life?” It makes us consider how our goals and pursuits can enhance our personal and professional journeys.

Ambition is the fuel that ignites progress and achievement, pushing us toward our highest potential. But (and), unchecked ambition can become exhausting. Constantly striving for the next thing—whether it’s a promotion, financial success, or personal achievements—can create a cycle of “never enough.” (now I need to listen to The Greatest Showman, if you know you know)! This is where contentment plays the crucial role.

The Importance of Contentment

Contentment is the ability to find peace and satisfaction in the present moment. It allows us to appreciate what we have and where we are in life. When we are content, we give ourselves the gift of enjoying life as it is, rather than constantly yearning for what’s next. However, being too content can also pose challenges. If we’re too satisfied with where we are, we may miss opportunities for growth, become complacent, or fail to realize our full potential. Like ambition, contentment requires balance. This leads us to a question worth pondering: “Where can I do a better job of being more content?”

Maybe it’s in our personal lives, where we rush through each day without pausing to appreciate the relationships we’ve built. Or perhaps it’s in our careers, where we’re so focused on the next goal that we fail to acknowledge how far we’ve come. Contentment isn’t about settling or giving up on your dreams. It’s about finding joy in the journey, not simply the… yes cliché…destination.

Finding the Balance

So, how do we find a middle ground between these two powerful forces? Here are some key strategies I work on doing

1. Set Meaningful Goals: Aim for goals that align with our values, purpose, and long-term vision. This will ensure that our ambition is purposeful and fulfilling, rather than empty or exhausting. Ask, “How will this add value to my life?” If the answer isn’t clear, it might be time to reassess our goals.

2. Practice Gratitude: The simple yet powerful way to stay content is by practicing gratitude. Take time each day to reflect on what we are grateful for—whether it’s our health, relationships, or career progress. By focusing on what we have, rather than what we lack, we will naturally cultivate more contentment.

3. Enjoy the Journey: It’s easy to get so caught up in the end goal that we forget to enjoy the process, I have been so guilty of this myself in many stages of my life. Ask, “How can I enjoy being content?” The answer might lie in celebrating small wins, enjoying moments of rest, or simply appreciating the present for what it is.

4. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on our ambitions and whether they’re serving us in the best possible way. Are our goals still meaningful? Are they bringing joy, or mostly stress? Equally, reflect on areas where we may be too content. Where could we challenge ourself to grow or expand our comfort zone?

5. Create Space for Both: Balance doesn’t mean we have to alternate between being ambitious and content. We can embody both at the same time. We can be content with where we are in life while working toward future goals. The key is to create space in our life for both—to be present and grateful while still moving forward.

How Will This Add Value to My Life?

I have found that using that one question has helped me stay on track and have both contentment and ambition. I have also been asking myself lately, “How can I add more value to other people’s lives?” and this has brought me a lot of contentment and ambition. Balancing ambition with contentment allows us to experience the best of both worlds: growth and fulfillment. When we are ambitious, we push ourself to achieve more, which can lead to personal and professional growth. When we are content, we are able to enjoy what we have worked for, preventing burnout and fostering long-term happiness. By striking this balance, we can ask ourself how our goals will truly add value to our life, without getting caught in the endless pursuit of “more.” We will also learn to savor the present while still looking toward the future.

Living with Balance

Being both ambitious and content is one art that takes practice. It’s about setting meaningful goals while appreciating what we have. It’s about pushing ourself to grow while allowing ourself to rest and enjoy the present. By asking ourself questions like, “Where can I do a better job of being more content?”* and “How can I enjoy being content?” we begin to open the door to a more balanced, fulfilling life. Ultimately, learning to live with both ambition and contentment is the key to lasting happiness and success.

Sep 03

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What is the Difference Between a SIGN and a TEST?

By Ryan Avery Food for thought, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement No Comments

The difference between perceiving something as a “sign” that we shouldn’t proceed versus interpreting it as a “test” we should overcome lies primarily in our interpretation of events, mindset, and approach to the challenge. Here’s is the breakdown of these two concepts and would love to hear more about what you feel the difference is between these two…

Understanding “Signs”

I feel like seeing some event or obstacle as a sign implies that we believe external forces or circumstances are indicating that we should stop, change direction, or reconsider our current path. This interpretation can often stem from intuition, personal beliefs, or past experiences. Characteristics of seeing something as a sign:

Intuitive Guidance: We rely on our gut feeling or belief system to interpret events as indicators of what we should or shouldn’t do.
Preventative Action: Seeing something as a sign often leads to avoidance or cessation to prevent potential negative outcomes.
External Focus: Emphasis is placed on external events or coincidences as messages or warnings.

Example: If we are planning a trip and suddenly encounter numerous obstacles like canceled flights, lost reservations, or sudden illness, we might interpret these as signs that we shouldn’t go on the trip.

Understanding “Tests”

When we perceive an event or obstacle as a test it means we view challenges as opportunities to prove resilience, determination, and commitment. This perspective is often associated with personal growth and achieving goals despite difficulties and what I typically look a things as in my personal and professional life. Characteristics:

Growth Mindset: Challenges are seen as a normal part of any worthwhile endeavor and are embraced as learning experiences.
Persistence: We are motivated to overcome obstacles, believing that success lies beyond the difficulties.
Internal Focus: Emphasis is placed on our own abilities and determination to navigate through challenges.

Example: Using the same travel scenario, encountering obstacles like canceled flights might be seen as tests of your adaptability and determination to proceed with our plans despite setbacks because we really want to go to that location/vacation we have in our mind.

Determining the Appropriate Interpretation

Deciding whether to view an obstacle as a sign or a test depends on several factors for me:

Context: Consider the situation’s specifics and whether the obstacles are insurmountable or typical challenges.
Goals and Values: Reflect on how important the goal is and whether persisting aligns with our personal values and long-term objectives.
Patterns: Look for recurring patterns. A single obstacle might be a test, but persistent and escalating issues could be interpreted as signs.
Intuition vs. Rationality: Balance our gut feelings with logical assessment of the situation.
Advice and Perspective: Sometimes seeking external perspectives from trusted individuals can provide clarity.

Example Decision-Making: If pursuing a business venture, initial hurdles like funding issues could be normal tests of entrepreneurship. However, if serious legal problems or ethical concerns arise, these might be signs to reconsider or adjust our approach.

Blending Both Perspectives

It’s also possible to integrate both interpretations:

Adaptive Approach: Start by viewing challenges as tests, but remain open to interpreting persistent or severe obstacles as signs to adjust your path.
Reflective Practice: Regularly assess progress and obstacles, reflecting on whether to persist or pivot based on new information and experiences.

Understanding the difference between signs and tests can help us navigate life’s challenges more effectively. By carefully evaluating situations and reflecting on our responses, we can make informed decisions that align with our goals and well-being. What are your thoughts? Is this blog post a sign or a test you should do something about what you have been thinking about? 🙂

Aug 26

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Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

By Ryan Avery Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement No Comments

Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

I am in Boston this week keynoting. This past month has been my third best month financially in my company’s 12 years doing business. After my wife shared some insight from this mediation expert, Davidji, it got me thinking about all the change and transformations that have happened over the last decade and I couldn’t stop thinking about those two words, change & transformation. As leaders, we often find ourselves at the crossroads of change and transformation. Both are vital to our growth and success, yet they serve different purposes and lead to distinct outcomes. Understanding the difference between these two concepts can profoundly impact how we lead our teams, shape our strategies, and ultimately, achieve our goals.

The Nature of Change

Change is about making adjustments. It’s when we tweak a process, revise a strategy, or alter a behavior to adapt to new circumstances. Change is often reactive, driven by external pressures or the need to address immediate challenges. For instance, when we introduce a new tool to improve productivity or adjust our management style to better align with team dynamics, we are implementing change.

Change is essential because it allows us to stay relevant and responsive in a fast-paced world. However, change often operates on the surface level. It’s like rearranging the furniture in a room—while it may create a fresh environment, the fundamental structure remains the same. Change is necessary, but it can be limited in scope, offering incremental improvements rather than revolutionary shifts.

The Power of Transformation

Transformation, on the other hand, is about the complete shift in our approach, mindset, or identity. It’s this deeper, more profound process that fundamentally alters how we operate, think, and lead. Transformation is not simply about doing things differently; it’s about becoming different.

As leaders, transformation requires us to challenge our assumptions, embrace new paradigms, and be willing to step into the unknown. It’s about reimagining our leadership style, our organizational culture, and even our vision for the future. Transformation is proactive, driven by a desire to achieve higher purpose or to create lasting impact.

While change might involve adopting a new communication tool, transformation could mean redefining how we communicate altogether, fostering the culture of transparency and collaboration that permeates every level of the organization. Transformation is like remodeling a house—it changes the structure, the layout, and the very essence of the space, creating something entirely new.

Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

The distinction between change and transformation is crucial for us as leaders because it influences how we approach our roles and responsibilities. Here’s why it matters:

Depth of Impact: Change can solve immediate problems, but transformation creates long-lasting solutions. By focusing on transformation, we ensure that the changes we implement are sustainable and deeply rooted in our organization’s values and vision.
Resilience and Adaptability: In today’s volatile business environment, being able to adapt is essential. However, true resilience comes from transformation. When we transform, we build the foundation that allows us to thrive in the face of adversity, rather than simply survive.
Empowering Our Teams: As leaders, our goal is not simply to manage but to motivate/inspire and empower our teams. Transformation invites us to lead by example, showing our teams that growth is not solely about small changes but about embracing new ways of thinking and being. This, in turn, encourages them to pursue their own transformations.
Visionary Leadership: Change is often tactical, focusing on immediate needs. Transformation, however, is strategic and visionary. It pushes us to look beyond the present and envision the future that is radically different and better. By embracing transformation, we position ourselves as leaders who are not all about being reactive but are shaping the future.

As we navigate our leadership journeys, we must recognize when change is necessary and when transformation is required. Both are valuable, and transformation holds the key to creating a lasting impact and leading our organizations into the future with strength and purpose. Let’s challenge ourselves to go beyond mere adjustments and strive for profound, meaningful transformations that redefine what’s possible for us and those we lead.

Aug 20

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Why Being Part of a Crew is Better Than Just Being on a Team

By Ryan Avery Motivation No Comments

The Power of Being Part of The Crew: Why Being Part of The Crew is Better Than Simply Being on a Team

For the last five years I have worked with a group of leaders who have turned out to be some of my favorite people in business and life. I spent the last weekend on the lake with them and it got me thinking… in our professional and personal lives, we’re often asked to be part of a team, but is there a stronger word than team? Whether it’s at work, in sports, or within social circles, the concept of teamwork is ingrained in us. But what if I told you there’s something even more powerful than simply being on a team? Enter the idea of the crew. While a team might seem synonymous with a crew, there are key differences that set them apart—and it’s those differences that make being part of the crew a truly transformative experience.

The Team Mentality

When we think of a team, we often imagine a group of people working together towards a common goal. Teams are usually assembled with specific roles in mind, where each person brings their own expertise to the table. It’s a structured approach, with clear hierarchies and defined responsibilities. In a team, we might do our part, execute our tasks, and then move on to the next project.

However, in a traditional team setting, the connection between members can sometimes be superficial. We might collaborate, but do we truly connect? The focus is often on the tasks at hand rather than the relationships between us. This can lead to a dynamic where we’re working alongside each other rather than truly with each other.

What Makes The Crew Different?

The crew, on the other hand, is more than a group of people working together—it’s the tight-knit unit where every member is deeply connected to the others and everyone’s role matters, no matter how big or small their role is. In the crew, we don’t simply fulfill roles; we support each other, look out for one another, and share a common purpose that goes beyond individual tasks. The bonds in the crew are stronger because they’re built on mutual trust, respect, and a shared sense of responsibility.

When we’re part of the crew, we feel a sense of belonging that’s often missing in a traditional team. We’re not some cogs in a machine; we’re integral parts of the collective whole. This creates a sense of loyalty and commitment that drives us to go the extra mile—not solely for the project, rather for each other.

Why Being Part of The Crew is Better

Deeper Connections: On the crew, relationships are prioritized. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and we’re invested in each other’s success. This deeper connection fosters better communication, more effective collaboration, and the stronger sense of camaraderie.
Shared Accountability: In a team, accountability can sometimes feel isolated. We’re responsible for our own tasks, but what happens when someone falls short? On the crew, accountability is shared. We’re all in it together, so when one of us struggles, the rest step in to help. This collective responsibility leads to higher standards and better outcomes.
Unified Purpose: A team might have a common goal, but the crew has one unified purpose. We’re not simply working towards a goal; we’re driven by the shared mission that aligns with our values and aspirations. This unifying force creates powerful motivation that keeps us focused and resilient, even in the face of challenges.
Resilience and Support: Life isn’t always smooth sailing, and the same goes for our professional and personal journeys. When we’re part of our crew, we know we’ve got the support system that will stand by us through thick and thin. This resilience comes from knowing we’re not alone—we have our crew that’s got our back.
Long-Term Success: Teams often disband after a project is completed, but crews sticks together. The bonds we form in the crew are lasting, creating the network of support that we can rely on for years to come. This long-term connection contributes to sustained success and personal growth.

How to Build Our Crew

Building our crew doesn’t happen overnight—it takes time, effort, and the commitment to fostering genuine connections. Here are a few steps we can take to cultivate our own crew:

Prioritize Relationships: Focus on getting to know each other beyond the surface level. Invest time in understanding each other’s motivations, goals, and challenges.
Encourage Open Communication: Create the environment where everyone feels safe to share their thoughts and ideas. Encourage transparency and honesty in all interactions.
Support Each Other: Be there for each other, both professionally and personally. Celebrate attempts and successes together and offer a helping hand when someone is struggling.
Align on Values: Ensure that everyone in the crew shares common values and is committed to the same purpose. This alignment is key to maintaining unity and motivation.
Foster a Sense of Belonging: Make sure everyone feels like an integral part of the crew. Recognize each person’s contributions and create opportunities for everyone to shine.

Being part of a team has its advantages, but there’s something truly special about being part of the crew. It’s about more than simply working together—it’s about building deep connections, sharing accountability, and uniting around one common purpose. When we’re part of the crew, we’re about more than achieving goals; we’re growing together, supporting each other, and creating lasting bonds that enrich our lives.

So, the next time we’re asked to join a team, let’s take it one step further. Let’s build our crew. Because when we do, we’re stronger—we’re unstoppable.

Aug 12

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Why How We Feel Matters More Than How We Look

By Ryan Avery Leadership, Motivation No Comments

In our world where appearance often can takes center stage, it’s easy to get caught up in the quest for the perfect look. Social media is flooded with images of seemingly flawless people, leading many to equate our worth with physical appearance. However, I believe while looking good might bring temporary validation, it’s how we feel that truly impacts our lives in meaningful, lasting ways.

The Trap of Appearance

Most of us have heard the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” It’s true that how we present ourselves can influence how others perceive us. However, placing too much emphasis on outward appearance can lead to a superficial existence. When we focus solely on how we look, we might neglect deeper aspects of our well-being, such as emotional health, mental clarity, and self-worth. This can create a disconnect between our external image and our internal state, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression.

Moreover, the pressure to maintain a certain appearance can be exhausting. It’s a moving target—what’s considered attractive today might change tomorrow. Trends come and go, and trying to keep up can be overwhelming. This constant pursuit can distract us from what truly matters: how we feel inside.

The Power of Feeling Good

How we feel is the direct reflection of our inner state and our internal dialouge. When we prioritize our feelings, we’re tuning in to what our body, mind, and spirit need. This self-awareness allows us to make choices that align with our true selves, leading to greater fulfillment and happiness.

Feeling good isn’t simply about being happy all the time; it’s about being in touch with our emotions and understanding what they’re telling us. When we feel stressed, our body is signaling that something is off balance. When we feel energized, it’s the sign that we’re on the right path. By paying attention to these cues, we can make adjustments that improve our overall well-being.

Why Focusing on Feelings Leads to Better Results

Sustainable Health: When we focus on how we feel, we make choices that support our long-term health. Rather than following a restrictive diet simply to fit into a certain size, we choose nourishing foods that make us feel energized and vibrant. Instead of punishing ourselves with grueling workouts, we find physical activities that we enjoy and that leave us feeling strong and capable. I have been known to do this with things like The Whole 30 or P90X. Now I am focused on what best nourishes my body while doing activities I enjoy and move my body at the same time like paragliding and swimming.
Authentic Confidence: True confidence comes from within. It’s not about looking a certain way but feeling good about who we are. When we prioritize our feelings, we build the strong sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. This authentic confidence allows us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace.
Better Relationships: How we feel affects how we relate to others. When we’re in tune with our emotions, we can communicate more effectively and build deeper, more meaningful connections. By focusing on our inner state, we become better partners, friends, and colleagues.
Greater Success: Success is often seen as the result of hard work and perseverance, but it’s also about feeling good in the process. When we’re aligned with our true selves, we’re more motivated, creative, and productive. This leads to better outcomes in all areas of life, from our careers to our personal goals.

How to Shift the Focus from Looks to Feelings

Practice Mindfulness: Take time each day to check in with yourself. How do we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally? This awareness is the first step in making choices that support our well-being. Trying looking in the mirror today and saying nice things about yourself and to yourself! I have been doing this lately and it has been working really well for me!
Set Intentions Based on Feelings: Instead of setting goals based on appearance, set intentions based on how you want to feel. For example, aim to feel more energized, peaceful, or fulfilled. Let these intentions guide your actions.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who value you for who you are, not simply how you look. Positive relationships can reinforce the importance of inner well-being. Remember, “because they were your friend, does not mean they have to be your friend!”
Embrace Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax, self-care practices help you feel your best, both inside and out.Remember, “Self-care is not selfish!”

While it’s natural to care about how we look, it’s how we feel that truly shapes our lives. By prioritizing our feelings, we create a foundation of well-being that supports sustainable health, authentic confidence, better relationships, and greater success. In the end, feeling good is more than a goal—it’s the key to living the fulfilling, meaningful life we want. So, the next time we catch ourselves worrying about our appearance, take a moment to check in with how we feel. That’s where the real magic happens. Keep being THE!

Aug 06

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The Difference Between Being Interested and Being Invested

By Ryan Avery Leadership, Motivation No Comments

The Difference Between Being Interested and Being Invested

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to find ourselves interested in a multitude of things. We might have hobbies, aspirations, and casual pursuits that capture our attention for a while. But there’s difference between being interested in something and being invested in it. This distinction can shape our personal and professional lives in significant ways.

Interest: The Spark of Curiosity

Interest is often the initial spark of curiosity. It’s the feeling we get when something catches our eye and we think, “That’s cool” or “I’d like to know more about that.” Interest is:

Casual: Interest is often casual and doesn’t require a deep commitment. We can be interested in many things simultaneously without dedicating substantial time or resources to them.
Flexible: Our interests can change quickly. One week we might be fascinated by photography, and the next, we are diving into the world of cooking.
Low Stakes: Being interested in something doesn’t carry significant consequences. If our interest wanes, there’s little lost.

Interest is crucial because it’s the first step toward deeper engagement. It allows us to explore and discover what truly resonates with us. The thing that is important for us to remember, for those things that matter most, interest alone isn’t enough.

Investment: The Commitment to Growth

Investment, on the other hand, goes beyond mere curiosity. It involves deliberate and sustained commitment to growth and improvement. Being invested in something means:

Time and Effort: Investment requires dedicating significant time and effort. It’s not simply about dabbling; it’s about immersing yourself fully.
Consistency: Unlike interest, which can be fleeting, investment requires consistency. It’s about showing up regularly, even when it’s challenging.
Resources: Investment often involves allocating resources, whether it’s money, energy, or emotional bandwidth. We are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of our commitment.
Long-Term Perspective: Being invested means we are in it for the long haul. We are not simply looking for immediate gratification rather are focused on long-term rewards and growth.

Why the Difference Matters

Understanding the difference between interest and investment can have a profound impact on our life and goals. Here’s why:

Goal Achievement: Many of our most significant achievements require investment, interest is not enough. Whether it’s building the successful career, cultivating that meaningful relationship, or mastering one skill, investment is key to reaching our goals.
Personal Fulfillment: True fulfillment often comes from those areas where we are deeply invested. I personally believe that the sense of accomplishment and growth from long-term dedication is far more rewarding than the temporary pleasure of casual interest.
Impact: When we are invested, our actions have greater impact. In professional settings, being invested can lead to leadership roles, higher levels of success, and more significant contributions to our field.

Turning Interest into Investment

So how do we turn an interest into investment? Here are a few steps:

Identify What Matters: Reflect on our interests and identify which ones resonate most deeply. These are the areas where investment might be worthwhile.
Set Clear Goals: Define what we want to achieve. Clear, actionable goals can help transform a casual interest into one committed investment.
Allocate Resources: Be willing to dedicate the necessary time, effort, and resources. This might mean scheduling regular practice sessions, seeking out mentors, or investing in quality tools and materials.
Stay Consistent: Consistency is key. Even when motivation wanes, stick with it. The rewards of investment come with time and sustained effort.
Embrace Challenges: Understand that investment involves overcoming obstacles. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks.

While interest is a valuable starting point, investment is what drives true growth and achievement. By understanding the difference and committing to the areas that matter most, we can turn our interests into investments that shape the more fulfilling and impactful life we want. Whether it’s in our personal or professional endeavors, being invested will always take us further than just being interested. What are your thoughts?

Jul 28

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Perception vs Impact

By Ryan Avery Motivation No Comments

This week I am keynoting in Anaheim, CA at ASHE and had an interesting question be asked that made me want to do some deeper research, ask a few more questions myself and ultimately see how I could do a better job with my answer for them. What is the difference between perception and impact?

For example, if we do something or say something, is there a difference in how things are perceived vs how things are impacted? Ultimately, and I was wrong at first, I do believe there is difference in the two. These concepts are really important in understanding interpersonal communication and relationships, especially in our role as leaders. So here are some thoughts on their similarities and differences:

Perception

Definition: Perception is the way something is understood or interpreted by an individual. It’s how someone sees, hears, or otherwise becomes aware of something through their senses.

Factors Influencing Perception:

Past Experiences: Personal history can color how one perceives new information.
Cultural Background: Cultural norms and values can shape one’s perception.
Emotions: Current emotional state can influence how someone interprets information.
Cognitive Biases: Preexisting beliefs and biases affect perception.

Example: If we give constructive feedback to one of our clients, their perception of our feedback can be influenced by their past experiences with criticism, their emotional state at that moment, and their trust in us as their leader.

Impact

Definition: Impact is the actual effect or outcome that an action or communication has on someone. It is the tangible or intangible result of the interaction.

Factors Influencing Impact:

Delivery: The manner in which something is said or done (I call this tone, time and text, even body language) affects its impact.
Context: The situational context in which the interaction occurs can influence its impact.
Individual Differences: Personal characteristics, such as resilience or sensitivity, play a role in how an action affects someone.
Relationships: The existing relationship between individuals can modify the impact of an action or statement.

Example: The same piece of constructive feedback might have different impacts on different clients. One client might feel motivated to improve, while another might feel discouraged or criticized.

Similarities

Interpersonal Dynamics: Both perception and impact are central to how individuals interact and communicate with each other.
Subjectivity: Both are influenced by subjective factors, such as emotions, past experiences, and personal biases.
Interdependence: Perception often shapes the impact. How someone perceives an action or statement influences how it impacts them.

Differences

Nature:
- Perception: Internal, subjective interpretation.
- Impact: External, actual effect or outcome.
Focus:
- Perception: Focuses on the receiver’s interpretation.
- Impact: Focuses on the outcome of the interaction.
Measurement:
- Perception: Harder to measure directly, as it’s internal and personal.
- Impact: Can be observed and measured through outcomes and changes in behavior or feelings.

Why They Matter in Leadership

Understanding the difference between perception and impact is essential for us as leaders because:

Communication Effectiveness: Knowing that perception can vary widely helps you tailor our communication to minimize misunderstandings and maximize positive impact.
Feedback Sensitivity: Awareness of the potential different impacts of our feedback can help us deliver it in ways that is constructive and supportive.
Building Trust: Acknowledging and addressing the differences between perception and impact can strengthen relationships by showing empathy and understanding.

By being mindful of both perception and impact, we can enhance our leadership abilities and foster more effective and meaningful interactions with our teams, families, friends and even people who disagree with us!

Jul 22

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What is Motivation? Accumulated vs Cultivated

By Ryan Avery Motivation No Comments

Motivation: Cultivated, Not Accumulated

In the pursuit of our goals, motivation can often feel like a fickle friend. Some days, it propels us forward effortlessly; other days, it seems elusive, leaving us grasping for ways to reignite our drive. What if we reconsidered motivation not as something to be accumulated, but as something to be cultivated—looking at it like a process rather than a possession?

What is Motivation?

Motivation is more than mere enthusiasm or willpower. It’s this complex interplay of factors that propel us towards our goals. Psychologically, it involves both intrinsic (internal desires and values) and extrinsic (external rewards or pressures) components. Understanding this duality can help us harness motivation more effectively. Motivation for me is understanding the root words and definition as mot– stems from the latin prefix mot, which means to move) and –ation is the suffix in latin which means to take action. So, by definition it means moving someone to action, it does not mean getting someone to pay attention!

So how do we do a better job of cultivating motivation in our daily lives?

Cultivating Motivation

1. Set Clear Goals:

Define objectives clearly. Ambiguous goals can lead to confusion and a lack of direction, dampening motivation. Break down big goals into smaller, manageable tasks to maintain a sense of progress. Remember the acronym SMART when setting goals!

2. Find Your Why:

Dig deep into the reasons behind our goals. Connecting emotionally with our objectives enhances intrinsic motivation. Ask yourself why achieving this matters to us—it’s often the emotional connection that fuels sustained effort. Have you read Simon Sinek’s Start with WHY?

3. Create a Positive Environment:

Surround ourselves with supportive people and environments that foster positivity and growth. Positive reinforcement and encouragement can significantly boost motivation. I have been very lucky to be around people in my life who support me and I love! Who is your biggest supporter?

4. Celebrate Small Wins:

Acknowledge and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small. This reinforces the sense of progress and achievement, triggering positive cycles of motivation. Sometimes I even celebrate the failures as it reminded me I am DOING something about my dreams, not simply wanting to do something! When is the last time you celebrated something?

5. Stay Flexible and Adapt:

Life is unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable. Maintain flexibility in your approach and be willing to adapt goals or strategies as needed. Resilience is key to sustaining long-term motivation. These last two years have been beyond tough with losing my house to a fire, living in seven different places with my kids and trying to find stability for them and me, while also going through COVID and so much more! However, one thing I like to think about is not looking at pivoting rather, evolving!

6. Develop Habits and Rituals:

Establishing routines and rituals can create senses of stability and discipline. Consistent habits reduce reliance on fleeting bursts of motivation, making progress more sustainable over time. This is the hardest one for me, anyone else?

7. Seek Inspiration:

be surrounded with sources of inspiration—whether it’s reading success stories, listening to motivational speakers, or engaging with communities pursuing similar goals. Inspiration can reignite passion during challenging times. Where do you seek inspiration?

8. Practice Self-Compassion:

Be kind to ourselves during moments of low motivation. Self-criticism and guilt only exacerbate feelings of demotivation. Accept that motivation fluctuates and focus on nurturing yourself through those periods.

Motivation as a Process

By viewing motivation as a cultivated process rather than a finite resource, we empower ourselves to take proactive steps towards maintaining and enhancing it. It’s about continuous effort and adjustment rather than waiting for motivation to strike.

Remember, motivation isn’t a one-time acquisition but a journey of self-discovery and perseverance. By understanding what drives us, creating conducive environments, and adopting resilient mindsets, we can cultivate sustainable motivation. Embrace the process, celebrate progress, and remember—motivation thrives when nurtured consistently. So, let’s embark on this journey of cultivation, fueling our aspirations with determination and purpose.

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