Skip to main content

This week I am speaking in IA to an amazing orginization. I have had a lot of personal emotions latley and one of my friends said I should read, Becoming Supernatural, and boy amd I glad she did! So I thought… let’s talk about emotions! Emotions are a fundamental part of the human experience. They add color to our lives, provide signals about our environment, and influence our decisions. However, one of the most common and limiting beliefs is identifying with our emotions rather than recognizing that we experience them. This distinction between being our emotions versus having emotions can significantly impact how we react, respond, and ultimately process what we feel.

The Power of Language: “I Am Angry” vs. “I Have Anger”

Think about the language we often use to describe our emotions. When someone says, “I am angry,” they are, in essence, equating their entire being with the emotion of anger. This subtle linguistic choice reinforces the belief that the person is anger itself, which shapes how they think, feel, and act in that moment. The emotion takes over, leading to reactive behaviors that align with being anger: yelling, withdrawing, or lashing out.

On the other hand, consider the phrase, “I have anger.” Here, the person acknowledges the emotion without identifying with it. They understand that anger is something they are feeling, but it is not who they are. By separating the self from the emotion, there’s more space to choose how to respond. The emotion no longer has the power to dictate one’s actions entirely. We can do this with ANY emotion. Happy. Sad. Fear. Disgust. Pick one!

This distinction in language and perspective is critical for emotional freedom.

‘Emotions Are Energy in Motion’ – Joe Dispenza

At their core, emotions are energy in motion (E-motion). They are not static states of being; they are dynamic experiences that arise and pass. When we realize this, we can allow emotions to move through us rather than becoming stuck or letting them define us.

For example, think of a time when you felt an overwhelming emotion—anger, sadness, fear, or joy. In the moment, it may have felt all-consuming. But inevitably, it changed. The intensity faded, and you moved on to the next experience or emotion. Emotions are fluid; they arise, peak, and subside.

Understanding that emotions are temporary, like waves on the ocean, can help us detach from the grip they often seem to have over us. Instead of being swept away by them, we can ride the wave, knowing it will eventually pass.

Identifying as the Emotion: The Path to Reactivity

When we label ourselves as the emotion we’re feeling, we essentially tell our mind, “This is what I am.” And our mind responds accordingly, shifting our thoughts, actions, and even our body language to align with that identification.

If we say, “I am stressed,” then our body tenses, our mind races, and we begin to behave as though stress is our default state. This identification perpetuates the feeling and keeps us trapped within it. We become reactive rather than responsive.

The same goes for other emotions—whether it’s fear, sadness, frustration, or even excitement. When we say, “I am sad,” it can be easy to spiral deeper into that sadness because we’ve made it part of our identity, making it harder to shift out of that state.

Observing Emotions: The Key to Letting Them Pass

The alternative is to see emotions for what they are: temporary visitors, signals, and messages that move through us. Instead of saying, “I am stressed,” we can say, “I am experiencing stress right now.” This shifts our focus from identifying with the emotion to observing it. Observation creates distance, allowing us to step back and choose how to respond.

By recognizing that emotions are not who we are but something we feel, we take back control over our reactions. It becomes easier to understand that emotions are simply part of our human experience, not the totality of it.

When we allow ourselves to be a vessel for emotions rather than a container that holds them indefinitely, we give ourselves permission to experience and release them.

Practical Tips for Shifting Perspective

  • Label your emotions accurately: The next time you’re feeling something intense, practice saying, “I am feeling [emotion]” instead of “I am [emotion].” This small shift can help create mental and emotional space between you and the feeling.
  • Pause before reacting: When an emotion arises, take a moment to observe it. What is your body doing? What thoughts are triggered? Recognize that the emotion is separate from you, and give yourself time to choose how to respond.
  • Visualize emotions as waves: Picture your emotions as waves that rise and fall. Ride the wave, knowing it will pass, and let yourself experience the motion without being overwhelmed by it.
  • Practice mindfulness: Grounding yourself in the present moment through mindfulness or meditation can help us become an observer of our emotions rather than a participant. When we are mindful, we can notice emotions without attaching to them.
  • Journal your feelings: Writing about your emotions can help you externalize them and see them more clearly as something you’re experiencing, not something you are. This process can bring clarity and understanding.

Rememebr… We Are Not Our Emotions

I like to remind msyelf of the idea that “we are not our emotions” becaue it is a powerful reminder that we are so much more than what we feel in any given moment. Emotions are natural, important, and valuable, but they don’t define us. They come and go like the ebb and flow of the tide, and with practice, we can learn to observe them, process them, and let them pass without becoming overwhelmed by them.

The next time you feel a surge of emotion, pause and remember: We are not angry, stressed, or sad—we are experiencing anger, stress, or sadness. This simple shift in perspective can help us regain our sense of self and respond to life with more clarity and control.

Ryan Avery

Author Ryan Avery

Hi, my name is Ryan Avery! Over the last decade I have dedicated my life to learning, practicing and sharing how we can Go From A to THE® in everything we do! Thank you for following along.

More posts by Ryan Avery

Leave a Reply