Better THAN vs Better AT: The Difference That Matters

Better THAN vs Better AT: The Difference That Matters

I mean... we have all been there—comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s one of our colleague’s career milestones, that one friend’s athletic achievements, or someone’s seemingly perfect life online, it’s easy to feel like we don’t measure up. But here’s something I know to be 100% true: no one is better than anyone else. They might be better at something, but that doesn’t mean they are better than us.I have been reminding myself of this every single day lately. Not because it’s comforting, but because it’s true. Each of us is unique, with our own strengths, weaknesses, and paths. When we fixate on how others might excel in ways we don’t, we risk losing sight of what we bring to the table. The way we talk to ourselves in these moments matters more than we realize. Our internal dialogue shapes how we see ourselves, how we approach challenges, and ultimately, how we live our lives.

The Power of Perspective

Imagine this: instead of asking, “Why aren’t I as good as them?” we ask, “What am I good at? What can I offer?” It shifts the focus from inadequacy to curiosity. It allows us to grow, not out of envy or self-doubt, but from a place of self-awareness.This isn’t about pretending we’re perfect or dismissing areas where we can improve. It’s about recognizing that every one of us has something to offer—and that “something” is enough.

Doing Special vs. Being Special

Many of us chase the idea of being someone special. But what does that even mean? Special isn’t about titles, fame, or external validation. Being “special” is often tied to wanting recognition or to be set apart. But the irony is, the most impactful people are those who focus on doing special things instead of trying to be someone special.Doing special things means creating moments of kindness, making meaningful contributions, or standing up for what matters. It’s not about having the world know your name; it’s about the difference you make in the lives we touch.When we shift our energy toward doing something special—whether it’s helping one of our neighbors, solving any problem, or simply being present for someone in need—we find meaning and fulfillment. That’s where real significance lies for me.

What Is “Special” Really?

Let’s redefine “special.” It’s not some unattainable ideal reserved for a lucky few. Special is showing up, trying our best, and embracing our authenticity. It’s about recognizing the value in the small, everyday moments as much as the big, celebrated ones. This is what I am currently working on and it has been good for my overall health (I know I am also making it sound easier than it is, this has been the hardest year for me in my personal growth journey, yet we can still do it and make it happen).Special isn’t about perfection or comparison. It’s about intention. When we lead with intention—whether it’s in our relationships, work, or personal growth—we’re doing something truly extraordinary.

How We Talk to Ourselves Matters

Here’s the catch: none of this works unless we change the way we talk to ourselves. If we constantly compare, criticize, or tear ourselves down, we’ll never believe we’re capable of doing special things.Instead of saying, “I’ll never be as good as them,” try, “I wonder what I can learn from them?” Or instead of, “I’m not enough,” remind yourself, “I am this work in progress, and progress is enough.”We owe it to ourselves to be our own biggest advocates. Again, that doesn’t mean we ignore our flaws or pretend we don’t have room to grow—it means we approach ourselves with the same kindness and encouragement we’d offer to any of our friends.

The Collective Journey

We’re in this together. None of us is better than anyone else; we’re all simply walking our own paths, developing our own skills, and finding our own ways to make an impact. The goal isn’t to outshine anyone else. It’s to shine where we are, with what we have, in ways that feel true to us.So, let’s stop chasing the illusion of being special and start focusing on doing special things. Let’s recognize the power of our words—especially the ones we say to ourselves—and use them to build, not break. And let’s remember that every single one of us is valuable, not because of what we do or how we compare, because we’re here, trying, and growing.That’s more than special—that’s extraordinary.

Photo: This past week, I spent Thanksgiving in Kansas City, MO with my family and all I can say is... THANK YOU! I feel so lucky to be part of this amazing family who helps me feel part of something special, inspires me to be more and shares so much love. I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving and it was one to remember!