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Aug 11
Love0

How to Stop Caring and Comparing

By Motivation 21 Comments

Without a doubt, my biggest struggle in moving forward and becoming more successful is figuring out how to stop caring what people think about me and how to stop comparing myself to others.

This might sound easy for some; but for me, it’s been my largest obstacle.

I can receive 100 emails a week: 95 amazing ones and five “not so friendly” ones. Out of all of those emails — which ones do you think I dwell upon the most? Sometimes, I am good at letting the bad ones go, but not every time.

I can speak in front of 200 people, rock the keynote to get a standing ovation, and be invited back to speak the next year, but then have one person come up to me and say, “Your style is way too much for me, and I don’t like it.” What do you think I think about most? Sometimes, I can let the negative comments slide, but not every time.

I have been blogging for over five years now and working to grow relationships with my readers. It has been paying off, but I see other speakers–who haven’t been blogging for as long as I have–claim 100,000 followers! I can’t help but wonder: What am I doing? Where am I slacking? Why am I not there, yet?

As the saying goes by Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy!” 

I am tired of living my life like this. I know I am capable of so much more! I must stop caring what people think and stop comparing myself to others. So, this weekend I decided to do something about it. I took time to define what success looks like to me and to figure out a solution to stop comparing myself to others.

In order to stop comparing ourselves to others, we need to first understand what makes us happy and feel successful. I needed to define what success looks like for me.

After some long walks, workout sessions, and coaching from my wife, I found my current definition of success: I am successful if I can do what I want, when I want, and with whom I want! As long as I can say this everyday, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing because I am living a successful life.

What is your definition of success? Work hard to identify it! Identifying what success looks like to you is a first step in overcoming the tendency to compare yourself to others.

I haven’t mastered this, yet. I still need to work on not caring what others think of me, and I would really like to hear from you. I began this blog to help us all become better speakers and leaders. I hope I am not the only one who feels like this. So, let’s start a conversation: How do we stop caring about what others think of us? How can we stop comparing ourselves to others?

Leave a comment below, or start a conversation on a social media outlet. Let’s help each other out.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas. As always…

Dream BIG,
Ryan

Jul 18
Love0

Why you should be more self-first!

By Motivation 2 Comments

This isn’t a hard thing to grasp, “You can’t give what you don’t have!” yet why can it be so hard to remember at times?

If you don’t have energy, you can’t give energy.
If you don’t love yourself, it will be difficult to love others.
You can’t teach what you haven’t learned.

So…

Are you sacrificing sleep and not eating healthy in an effort to get more done?
Are you hard on yourself when things go wrong or you make a mistake?

Are you digesting enough new information on a regular basis to stretch yourself?

It is time to be more self-first so you can give more to those who need it most!

The past month I have been going so fast I forgot to take care of myself and those important relationships. I have worked out irregularly. I have been teaching more than I have been learning. I have not done as many “fun/non-work related” things as I have liked.

I have been so focused on the success of my businesses and helping others, I forgot to take care of the most important person, me! In a society where we can look down on those who are selfish, it can be hard to rationalize giving more to ourselves so we should redefine it as self-first (as my wife likes to say). The more you give to yourself, the more you can give to others!

But if we are serious about changing the world, helping others and making a difference then we have to start with us! So while we continue to do the 31 Days of Kindness Challenge, I want to encourage you to look at how you are being kind to yourself.  What are you doing to be happy, have more energy and love yourself?

Should you go on a walk right now, set your phone down and look around outside?
Could you write down three things you have accomplished in the past three years that make you feel proud?
Can you take 30 minutes tonight to spend time with someone you love where you can laugh, play cards and have fun?

Yesterday I sat under a tree looking out at the water for a couple hours, read and enjoyed the sun. I slept in today, playing tennis with a friend on Saturday and am getting to work at a normal time. I learned from an old boss, “There will always be work to do, so learn to to be ok with never being finished, but always be hungry to do more.” 

So you should be more self-first because the more you give yourself, the more you can give others and we can all benefit from what you can have to offer! As always…

Dream BIG,
Ryan

“Everybody wants to change the world. Nobody wants to change themselves.” ~Leo Tolstoy

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