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Sep 10
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Ryan Avery Content

The Balance Between Ambition and Contentment: Striving for More While Appreciating What We Have

By Communication, Motivation, Productivity No Comments

In today’s fast-paced, goal-driven world, ambition is often celebrated as the key to success. We hear it in motivational speeches, read it in business books, and see it played out in the lives of those we admire. But what happens when ambition takes over, leaving no room for contentment?

Is it possible to be both ambitious and content, and if so, how do we strike that delicate balance?

Being overly ambitious without the ability to appreciate where we are can lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and even unhappiness. On the flip side, being too content can cause stagnation, a lack of growth, and unfulfilled potential. Ugh, so what do we do? Well, the real magic lies in finding the balance between ambition and contentment—striving for more while also embracing the present moment.

The Importance of Ambition

Ambition drives us to reach new heights, push our limits, and set higher goals. It’s the force behind growth, achievement, and self-improvement. Without ambition, we wouldn’t challenge ourselves to improve or create new opportunities. It’s what keeps us moving forward. Ambition allows us to ask questions like, “How will this add value to my life?” It makes us consider how our goals and pursuits can enhance our personal and professional journeys.

Ambition is the fuel that ignites progress and achievement, pushing us toward our highest potential. But (and), unchecked ambition can become exhausting. Constantly striving for the next thing—whether it’s a promotion, financial success, or personal achievements—can create a cycle of “never enough.” (now I need to listen to The Greatest Showman, if you know you know)! This is where contentment plays the crucial role.

The Importance of Contentment

Contentment is the ability to find peace and satisfaction in the present moment. It allows us to appreciate what we have and where we are in life. When we are content, we give ourselves the gift of enjoying life as it is, rather than constantly yearning for what’s next. However, being too content can also pose challenges. If we’re too satisfied with where we are, we may miss opportunities for growth, become complacent, or fail to realize our full potential. Like ambition, contentment requires balance. This leads us to a question worth pondering: “Where can I do a better job of being more content?”

Maybe it’s in our personal lives, where we rush through each day without pausing to appreciate the relationships we’ve built. Or perhaps it’s in our careers, where we’re so focused on the next goal that we fail to acknowledge how far we’ve come. Contentment isn’t about settling or giving up on your dreams. It’s about finding joy in the journey, not simply the… yes cliché…destination.

Finding the Balance

So, how do we find a middle ground between these two powerful forces? Here are some key strategies I work on doing

1. Set Meaningful Goals: Aim for goals that align with our values, purpose, and long-term vision. This will ensure that our ambition is purposeful and fulfilling, rather than empty or exhausting. Ask, “How will this add value to my life?” If the answer isn’t clear, it might be time to reassess our goals.

2. Practice Gratitude: The simple yet powerful way to stay content is by practicing gratitude. Take time each day to reflect on what we are grateful for—whether it’s our health, relationships, or career progress. By focusing on what we have, rather than what we lack, we will naturally cultivate more contentment.

3. Enjoy the Journey: It’s easy to get so caught up in the end goal that we forget to enjoy the process, I have been so guilty of this myself in many stages of my life. Ask, “How can I enjoy being content?” The answer might lie in celebrating small wins, enjoying moments of rest, or simply appreciating the present for what it is.

4. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on our ambitions and whether they’re serving us in the best possible way. Are our goals still meaningful? Are they bringing joy, or mostly stress? Equally, reflect on areas where we may be too content. Where could we challenge ourself to grow or expand our comfort zone?

5. Create Space for Both: Balance doesn’t mean we have to alternate between being ambitious and content. We can embody both at the same time. We can be content with where we are in life while working toward future goals. The key is to create space in our life for both—to be present and grateful while still moving forward.

How Will This Add Value to My Life?

I have found that using that one question has helped me stay on track and have both contentment and ambition. I have also been asking myself lately, “How can I add more value to other people’s lives?” and this has brought me a lot of contentment and ambition. Balancing ambition with contentment allows us to experience the best of both worlds: growth and fulfillment. When we are ambitious, we push ourself to achieve more, which can lead to personal and professional growth. When we are content, we are able to enjoy what we have worked for, preventing burnout and fostering long-term happiness. By striking this balance, we can ask ourself how our goals will truly add value to our life, without getting caught in the endless pursuit of “more.” We will also learn to savor the present while still looking toward the future.

Living with Balance

Being both ambitious and content is one art that takes practice. It’s about setting meaningful goals while appreciating what we have. It’s about pushing ourself to grow while allowing ourself to rest and enjoy the present. By asking ourself questions like, “Where can I do a better job of being more content?”* and “How can I enjoy being content?” we begin to open the door to a more balanced, fulfilling life. Ultimately, learning to live with both ambition and contentment is the key to lasting happiness and success.

Sep 03
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Ryan Avery speaks about signs and tests

What is the Difference Between a SIGN and a TEST?

By Food for thought, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement No Comments

The difference between perceiving something as a “sign” that we shouldn’t proceed versus interpreting it as a “test” we should overcome lies primarily in our interpretation of events, mindset, and approach to the challenge. Here’s is the breakdown of these two concepts and would love to hear more about what you feel the difference is between these two…

Understanding “Signs”

I feel like seeing some event or obstacle as a sign implies that we believe external forces or circumstances are indicating that we should stop, change direction, or reconsider our current path. This interpretation can often stem from intuition, personal beliefs, or past experiences. Characteristics of seeing something as a sign:

  • Intuitive Guidance: We rely on our gut feeling or belief system to interpret events as indicators of what we should or shouldn’t do.
  • Preventative Action: Seeing something as a sign often leads to avoidance or cessation to prevent potential negative outcomes.
  • External Focus: Emphasis is placed on external events or coincidences as messages or warnings.

Example: If we are planning a trip and suddenly encounter numerous obstacles like canceled flights, lost reservations, or sudden illness, we might interpret these as signs that we shouldn’t go on the trip.

Understanding “Tests”

When we perceive an event or obstacle as a test it means we view challenges as opportunities to prove resilience, determination, and commitment. This perspective is often associated with personal growth and achieving goals despite difficulties and what I typically look a things as in my personal and professional life. Characteristics:

  • Growth Mindset: Challenges are seen as a normal part of any worthwhile endeavor and are embraced as learning experiences.
  • Persistence: We are motivated to overcome obstacles, believing that success lies beyond the difficulties.
  • Internal Focus: Emphasis is placed on our own abilities and determination to navigate through challenges.

Example: Using the same travel scenario, encountering obstacles like canceled flights might be seen as tests of your adaptability and determination to proceed with our plans despite setbacks because we really want to go to that location/vacation we have in our mind.

Determining the Appropriate Interpretation

Deciding whether to view an obstacle as a sign or a test depends on several factors for me:

  • Context: Consider the situation’s specifics and whether the obstacles are insurmountable or typical challenges.
  • Goals and Values: Reflect on how important the goal is and whether persisting aligns with our personal values and long-term objectives.
  • Patterns: Look for recurring patterns. A single obstacle might be a test, but persistent and escalating issues could be interpreted as signs.
  • Intuition vs. Rationality: Balance our gut feelings with logical assessment of the situation.
  • Advice and Perspective: Sometimes seeking external perspectives from trusted individuals can provide clarity.

Example Decision-Making: If pursuing a business venture, initial hurdles like funding issues could be normal tests of entrepreneurship. However, if serious legal problems or ethical concerns arise, these might be signs to reconsider or adjust our approach.

Blending Both Perspectives

It’s also possible to integrate both interpretations:

  • Adaptive Approach: Start by viewing challenges as tests, but remain open to interpreting persistent or severe obstacles as signs to adjust your path.
  • Reflective Practice: Regularly assess progress and obstacles, reflecting on whether to persist or pivot based on new information and experiences.

Understanding the difference between signs and tests can help us navigate life’s challenges more effectively. By carefully evaluating situations and reflecting on our responses, we can make informed decisions that align with our goals and well-being. What are your thoughts? Is this blog post a sign or a test you should do something about what you have been thinking about? 🙂 

Aug 26
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Ryan Avery in Boston

Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

By Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement No Comments

Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

I am in Boston this week keynoting. This past month has been my third best month financially in my company’s 12 years doing business. After my wife shared some insight from this mediation expert, Davidji, it got me thinking about all the change and transformations that have happened over the last decade and I couldn’t stop thinking about those two words, change & transformation. As leaders, we often find ourselves at the crossroads of change and transformation. Both are vital to our growth and success, yet they serve different purposes and lead to distinct outcomes. Understanding the difference between these two concepts can profoundly impact how we lead our teams, shape our strategies, and ultimately, achieve our goals.

The Nature of Change

Change is about making adjustments. It’s when we tweak a process, revise a strategy, or alter a behavior to adapt to new circumstances. Change is often reactive, driven by external pressures or the need to address immediate challenges. For instance, when we introduce a new tool to improve productivity or adjust our management style to better align with team dynamics, we are implementing change.

Change is essential because it allows us to stay relevant and responsive in a fast-paced world. However, change often operates on the surface level. It’s like rearranging the furniture in a room—while it may create a fresh environment, the fundamental structure remains the same. Change is necessary, but it can be limited in scope, offering incremental improvements rather than revolutionary shifts.

The Power of Transformation

Transformation, on the other hand, is about the complete shift in our approach, mindset, or identity. It’s this deeper, more profound process that fundamentally alters how we operate, think, and lead. Transformation is not simply about doing things differently; it’s about becoming different.

As leaders, transformation requires us to challenge our assumptions, embrace new paradigms, and be willing to step into the unknown. It’s about reimagining our leadership style, our organizational culture, and even our vision for the future. Transformation is proactive, driven by a desire to achieve higher purpose or to create lasting impact.

While change might involve adopting a new communication tool, transformation could mean redefining how we communicate altogether, fostering the culture of transparency and collaboration that permeates every level of the organization. Transformation is like remodeling a house—it changes the structure, the layout, and the very essence of the space, creating something entirely new.

Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

The distinction between change and transformation is crucial for us as leaders because it influences how we approach our roles and responsibilities. Here’s why it matters:

  1. Depth of Impact: Change can solve immediate problems, but transformation creates long-lasting solutions. By focusing on transformation, we ensure that the changes we implement are sustainable and deeply rooted in our organization’s values and vision.
  2. Resilience and Adaptability: In today’s volatile business environment, being able to adapt is essential. However, true resilience comes from transformation. When we transform, we build the foundation that allows us to thrive in the face of adversity, rather than simply survive.
  3. Empowering Our Teams: As leaders, our goal is not simply to manage but to motivate/inspire and empower our teams. Transformation invites us to lead by example, showing our teams that growth is not solely about small changes but about embracing new ways of thinking and being. This, in turn, encourages them to pursue their own transformations.
  4. Visionary Leadership: Change is often tactical, focusing on immediate needs. Transformation, however, is strategic and visionary. It pushes us to look beyond the present and envision the future that is radically different and better. By embracing transformation, we position ourselves as leaders who are not all about being reactive but are shaping the future.

As we navigate our leadership journeys, we must recognize when change is necessary and when transformation is required. Both are valuable, and transformation holds the key to creating a lasting impact and leading our organizations into the future with strength and purpose. Let’s challenge ourselves to go beyond mere adjustments and strive for profound, meaningful transformations that redefine what’s possible for us and those we lead.

Aug 20
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Why Being Part of a Crew is Better Than Just Being on a Team

By Motivation No Comments

The Power of Being Part of The Crew: Why Being Part of The Crew is Better Than Simply Being on a Team

For the last five years I have worked with a group of leaders who have turned out to be some of my favorite people in business and life. I spent the last weekend on the lake with them and it got me thinking… in our professional and personal lives, we’re often asked to be part of a team, but is there a stronger word than team? Whether it’s at work, in sports, or within social circles, the concept of teamwork is ingrained in us. But what if I told you there’s something even more powerful than simply being on a team? Enter the idea of the crew. While a team might seem synonymous with a crew, there are key differences that set them apart—and it’s those differences that make being part of the crew a truly transformative experience.

The Team Mentality

When we think of a team, we often imagine a group of people working together towards a common goal. Teams are usually assembled with specific roles in mind, where each person brings their own expertise to the table. It’s a structured approach, with clear hierarchies and defined responsibilities. In a team, we might do our part, execute our tasks, and then move on to the next project.

However, in a traditional team setting, the connection between members can sometimes be superficial. We might collaborate, but do we truly connect? The focus is often on the tasks at hand rather than the relationships between us. This can lead to a dynamic where we’re working alongside each other rather than truly with each other.

What Makes The Crew Different?

The crew, on the other hand, is more than a group of people working together—it’s the tight-knit unit where every member is deeply connected to the others and everyone’s role matters, no matter how big or small their role is. In the crew, we don’t simply fulfill roles; we support each other, look out for one another, and share a common purpose that goes beyond individual tasks. The bonds in the crew are stronger because they’re built on mutual trust, respect, and a shared sense of responsibility.

When we’re part of the crew, we feel a sense of belonging that’s often missing in a traditional team. We’re not some cogs in a machine; we’re integral parts of the collective whole. This creates a sense of loyalty and commitment that drives us to go the extra mile—not solely for the project, rather for each other.

Why Being Part of The Crew is Better

  1. Deeper Connections: On the crew, relationships are prioritized. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and we’re invested in each other’s success. This deeper connection fosters better communication, more effective collaboration, and the stronger sense of camaraderie.
  2. Shared Accountability: In a team, accountability can sometimes feel isolated. We’re responsible for our own tasks, but what happens when someone falls short? On the crew, accountability is shared. We’re all in it together, so when one of us struggles, the rest step in to help. This collective responsibility leads to higher standards and better outcomes.
  3. Unified Purpose: A team might have a common goal, but the crew has one unified purpose. We’re not simply working towards a goal; we’re driven by the shared mission that aligns with our values and aspirations. This unifying force creates powerful motivation that keeps us focused and resilient, even in the face of challenges.
  4. Resilience and Support: Life isn’t always smooth sailing, and the same goes for our professional and personal journeys. When we’re part of our crew, we know we’ve got the support system that will stand by us through thick and thin. This resilience comes from knowing we’re not alone—we have our crew that’s got our back.
  5. Long-Term Success: Teams often disband after a project is completed, but crews sticks together. The bonds we form in the crew are lasting, creating the network of support that we can rely on for years to come. This long-term connection contributes to sustained success and personal growth.

How to Build Our Crew

Building our crew doesn’t happen overnight—it takes time, effort, and the commitment to fostering genuine connections. Here are a few steps we can take to cultivate our own crew:

  • Prioritize Relationships: Focus on getting to know each other beyond the surface level. Invest time in understanding each other’s motivations, goals, and challenges.
  • Encourage Open Communication: Create the environment where everyone feels safe to share their thoughts and ideas. Encourage transparency and honesty in all interactions.
  • Support Each Other: Be there for each other, both professionally and personally. Celebrate attempts and successes together and offer a helping hand when someone is struggling.
  • Align on Values: Ensure that everyone in the crew shares common values and is committed to the same purpose. This alignment is key to maintaining unity and motivation.
  • Foster a Sense of Belonging: Make sure everyone feels like an integral part of the crew. Recognize each person’s contributions and create opportunities for everyone to shine.

Being part of a team has its advantages, but there’s something truly special about being part of the crew. It’s about more than simply working together—it’s about building deep connections, sharing accountability, and uniting around one common purpose. When we’re part of the crew, we’re about more than achieving goals; we’re growing together, supporting each other, and creating lasting bonds that enrich our lives.

So, the next time we’re asked to join a team, let’s take it one step further. Let’s build our crew. Because when we do, we’re stronger—we’re unstoppable.

Aug 12
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Ryan Avery Weird

Why How We Feel Matters More Than How We Look

By Leadership, Motivation No Comments

In our world where appearance often can takes center stage, it’s easy to get caught up in the quest for the perfect look. Social media is flooded with images of seemingly flawless people, leading many to equate our worth with physical appearance. However, I believe while looking good might bring temporary validation, it’s how we feel that truly impacts our lives in meaningful, lasting ways.

The Trap of Appearance

Most of us have heard the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” It’s true that how we present ourselves can influence how others perceive us. However, placing too much emphasis on outward appearance can lead to a superficial existence. When we focus solely on how we look, we might neglect deeper aspects of our well-being, such as emotional health, mental clarity, and self-worth. This can create a disconnect between our external image and our internal state, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression.

Moreover, the pressure to maintain a certain appearance can be exhausting. It’s a moving target—what’s considered attractive today might change tomorrow. Trends come and go, and trying to keep up can be overwhelming. This constant pursuit can distract us from what truly matters: how we feel inside.

The Power of Feeling Good

How we feel is the direct reflection of our inner state and our internal dialouge. When we prioritize our feelings, we’re tuning in to what our body, mind, and spirit need. This self-awareness allows us to make choices that align with our true selves, leading to greater fulfillment and happiness.

Feeling good isn’t simply about being happy all the time; it’s about being in touch with our emotions and understanding what they’re telling us. When we feel stressed, our body is signaling that something is off balance. When we feel energized, it’s the sign that we’re on the right path. By paying attention to these cues, we can make adjustments that improve our overall well-being.

Why Focusing on Feelings Leads to Better Results

  1. Sustainable Health: When we focus on how we feel, we make choices that support our long-term health. Rather than following a restrictive diet simply to fit into a certain size, we choose nourishing foods that make us feel energized and vibrant. Instead of punishing ourselves with grueling workouts, we find physical activities that we enjoy and that leave us feeling strong and capable. I have been known to do this with things like The Whole 30 or P90X. Now I am focused on what best nourishes my body while doing activities I enjoy and move my body at the same time like paragliding and swimming.
  2. Authentic Confidence: True confidence comes from within. It’s not about looking a certain way but feeling good about who we are. When we prioritize our feelings, we build the strong sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. This authentic confidence allows us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace.
  3. Better Relationships: How we feel affects how we relate to others. When we’re in tune with our emotions, we can communicate more effectively and build deeper, more meaningful connections. By focusing on our inner state, we become better partners, friends, and colleagues.
  4. Greater Success: Success is often seen as the result of hard work and perseverance, but it’s also about feeling good in the process. When we’re aligned with our true selves, we’re more motivated, creative, and productive. This leads to better outcomes in all areas of life, from our careers to our personal goals.

How to Shift the Focus from Looks to Feelings

  • Practice Mindfulness: Take time each day to check in with yourself. How do we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally? This awareness is the first step in making choices that support our well-being. Trying looking in the mirror today and saying nice things about yourself and to yourself! I have been doing this lately and it has been working really well for me!
  • Set Intentions Based on Feelings: Instead of setting goals based on appearance, set intentions based on how you want to feel. For example, aim to feel more energized, peaceful, or fulfilled. Let these intentions guide your actions.
  • Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who value you for who you are, not simply how you look. Positive relationships can reinforce the importance of inner well-being. Remember, “because they were your friend, does not mean they have to be your friend!” 
  • Embrace Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax, self-care practices help you feel your best, both inside and out.Remember, “Self-care is not selfish!”

While it’s natural to care about how we look, it’s how we feel that truly shapes our lives. By prioritizing our feelings, we create a foundation of well-being that supports sustainable health, authentic confidence, better relationships, and greater success. In the end, feeling good is more than a goal—it’s the key to living the fulfilling, meaningful life we want. So, the next time we catch ourselves worrying about our appearance, take a moment to check in with how we feel. That’s where the real magic happens. Keep being THE!

Aug 06
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The Difference Between Being Interested and Being Invested

By Leadership, Motivation No Comments

The Difference Between Being Interested and Being Invested

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to find ourselves interested in a multitude of things. We might have hobbies, aspirations, and casual pursuits that capture our attention for a while. But there’s difference between being interested in something and being invested in it. This distinction can shape our personal and professional lives in significant ways.

Interest: The Spark of Curiosity

Interest is often the initial spark of curiosity. It’s the feeling we get when something catches our eye and we think, “That’s cool” or “I’d like to know more about that.” Interest is:

  • Casual: Interest is often casual and doesn’t require a deep commitment. We can be interested in many things simultaneously without dedicating substantial time or resources to them.
  • Flexible: Our interests can change quickly. One week we might be fascinated by photography, and the next, we are diving into the world of cooking.
  • Low Stakes: Being interested in something doesn’t carry significant consequences. If our interest wanes, there’s little lost.

Interest is crucial because it’s the first step toward deeper engagement. It allows us to explore and discover what truly resonates with us. The thing that is important for us to remember, for those things that matter most, interest alone isn’t enough.

Investment: The Commitment to Growth

Investment, on the other hand, goes beyond mere curiosity. It involves deliberate and sustained commitment to growth and improvement. Being invested in something means:

  • Time and Effort: Investment requires dedicating significant time and effort. It’s not simply about dabbling; it’s about immersing yourself fully.
  • Consistency: Unlike interest, which can be fleeting, investment requires consistency. It’s about showing up regularly, even when it’s challenging.
  • Resources: Investment often involves allocating resources, whether it’s money, energy, or emotional bandwidth. We are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of our commitment.
  • Long-Term Perspective: Being invested means we are in it for the long haul. We are not simply looking for immediate gratification rather are focused on long-term rewards and growth.

Why the Difference Matters

Understanding the difference between interest and investment can have a profound impact on our life and goals. Here’s why:

  1. Goal Achievement: Many of our most significant achievements require investment, interest is not enough. Whether it’s building the successful career, cultivating that meaningful relationship, or mastering one skill, investment is key to reaching our goals.
  2. Personal Fulfillment: True fulfillment often comes from those areas where we are deeply invested. I personally believe that the sense of accomplishment and growth from long-term dedication is far more rewarding than the temporary pleasure of casual interest.
  3. Impact: When we are invested, our actions have greater impact. In professional settings, being invested can lead to leadership roles, higher levels of success, and more significant contributions to our field.

Turning Interest into Investment

So how do we turn an interest into investment? Here are a few steps:

  1. Identify What Matters: Reflect on our interests and identify which ones resonate most deeply. These are the areas where investment might be worthwhile.
  2. Set Clear Goals: Define what we want to achieve. Clear, actionable goals can help transform a casual interest into one committed investment.
  3. Allocate Resources: Be willing to dedicate the necessary time, effort, and resources. This might mean scheduling regular practice sessions, seeking out mentors, or investing in quality tools and materials.
  4. Stay Consistent: Consistency is key. Even when motivation wanes, stick with it. The rewards of investment come with time and sustained effort.
  5. Embrace Challenges: Understand that investment involves overcoming obstacles. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks.

While interest is a valuable starting point, investment is what drives true growth and achievement. By understanding the difference and committing to the areas that matter most, we can turn our interests into investments that shape the more fulfilling and impactful life we want. Whether it’s in our personal or professional endeavors, being invested will always take us further than just being interested. What are your thoughts?

Jul 28
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Ryan Avery Keynoting 2024 ASHE

Perception vs Impact

By Motivation No Comments

This week I am keynoting in Anaheim, CA at ASHE and had an interesting question be asked that made me want to do some deeper research, ask a few more questions myself and ultimately see how I could do a better job with my answer for them. What is the difference between perception and impact?

For example, if we do something or say something, is there a difference in how things are perceived vs how things are impacted? Ultimately, and I was wrong at first, I do believe there is difference in the two. These concepts are really important in understanding interpersonal communication and relationships, especially in our role as leaders. So here are some thoughts on their similarities and differences:

Perception

Definition: Perception is the way something is understood or interpreted by an individual. It’s how someone sees, hears, or otherwise becomes aware of something through their senses.

Factors Influencing Perception:

  • Past Experiences: Personal history can color how one perceives new information.
  • Cultural Background: Cultural norms and values can shape one’s perception.
  • Emotions: Current emotional state can influence how someone interprets information.
  • Cognitive Biases: Preexisting beliefs and biases affect perception.

Example: If we give constructive feedback to one of our clients, their perception of our feedback can be influenced by their past experiences with criticism, their emotional state at that moment, and their trust in us as their leader.

Impact

Definition: Impact is the actual effect or outcome that an action or communication has on someone. It is the tangible or intangible result of the interaction.

Factors Influencing Impact:

  • Delivery: The manner in which something is said or done (I call this tone, time and text, even body language) affects its impact.
  • Context: The situational context in which the interaction occurs can influence its impact.
  • Individual Differences: Personal characteristics, such as resilience or sensitivity, play a role in how an action affects someone.
  • Relationships: The existing relationship between individuals can modify the impact of an action or statement.

Example: The same piece of constructive feedback might have different impacts on different clients. One client might feel motivated to improve, while another might feel discouraged or criticized.

Similarities

  1. Interpersonal Dynamics: Both perception and impact are central to how individuals interact and communicate with each other.
  2. Subjectivity: Both are influenced by subjective factors, such as emotions, past experiences, and personal biases.
  3. Interdependence: Perception often shapes the impact. How someone perceives an action or statement influences how it impacts them.

Differences

  1. Nature:
    • Perception: Internal, subjective interpretation.
    • Impact: External, actual effect or outcome.
  2. Focus:
    • Perception: Focuses on the receiver’s interpretation.
    • Impact: Focuses on the outcome of the interaction.
  3. Measurement:
    • Perception: Harder to measure directly, as it’s internal and personal.
    • Impact: Can be observed and measured through outcomes and changes in behavior or feelings.

Why They Matter in Leadership

Understanding the difference between perception and impact is essential for us as leaders because:

  1. Communication Effectiveness: Knowing that perception can vary widely helps you tailor our communication to minimize misunderstandings and maximize positive impact.
  2. Feedback Sensitivity: Awareness of the potential different impacts of our feedback can help us deliver it in ways that is constructive and supportive.
  3. Building Trust: Acknowledging and addressing the differences between perception and impact can strengthen relationships by showing empathy and understanding.

By being mindful of both perception and impact, we can enhance our leadership abilities and foster more effective and meaningful interactions with our teams, families, friends and even people who disagree with us!

Jul 22
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What is motivation with Ryan Avery?

What is Motivation? Accumulated vs Cultivated

By Motivation No Comments

Motivation: Cultivated, Not Accumulated

In the pursuit of our goals, motivation can often feel like a fickle friend. Some days, it propels us forward effortlessly; other days, it seems elusive, leaving us grasping for ways to reignite our drive. What if we reconsidered motivation not as something to be accumulated, but as something to be cultivated—looking at it like a process rather than a possession?

What is Motivation?

Motivation is more than mere enthusiasm or willpower. It’s this complex interplay of factors that propel us towards our goals. Psychologically, it involves both intrinsic (internal desires and values) and extrinsic (external rewards or pressures) components. Understanding this duality can help us harness motivation more effectively. Motivation for me is understanding the root words and definition as mot– stems from the latin prefix mot, which means to move) and –ation is the suffix in latin which means to take action. So, by definition it means moving someone to action, it does not mean getting someone to pay attention!

So how do we do a better job of cultivating motivation in our daily lives?

Cultivating Motivation

1. Set Clear Goals:

Define objectives clearly. Ambiguous goals can lead to confusion and a lack of direction, dampening motivation. Break down big goals into smaller, manageable tasks to maintain a sense of progress. Remember the acronym SMART when setting goals!

2. Find Your Why:

Dig deep into the reasons behind our goals. Connecting emotionally with our objectives enhances intrinsic motivation. Ask yourself why achieving this matters to us—it’s often the emotional connection that fuels sustained effort. Have you read Simon Sinek’s Start with WHY?

3. Create a Positive Environment:

Surround ourselves with supportive people and environments that foster positivity and growth. Positive reinforcement and encouragement can significantly boost motivation. I have been very lucky to be around people in my life who support me and I love! Who is your biggest supporter?

4. Celebrate Small Wins:

Acknowledge and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small. This reinforces the sense of progress and achievement, triggering positive cycles of motivation. Sometimes I even celebrate the failures as it reminded me I am DOING something about my dreams, not simply wanting to do something! When is the last time you celebrated something?

5. Stay Flexible and Adapt:

Life is unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable. Maintain flexibility in your approach and be willing to adapt goals or strategies as needed. Resilience is key to sustaining long-term motivation. These last two years have been beyond tough with losing my house to a fire, living in seven different places with my kids and trying to find stability for them and me, while also going through COVID and so much more! However, one thing I like to think about is not looking at pivoting rather, evolving!

6. Develop Habits and Rituals:

Establishing routines and rituals can create senses of stability and discipline. Consistent habits reduce reliance on fleeting bursts of motivation, making progress more sustainable over time. This is the hardest one for me, anyone else?

7. Seek Inspiration:

be surrounded with sources of inspiration—whether it’s reading success stories, listening to motivational speakers, or engaging with communities pursuing similar goals. Inspiration can reignite passion during challenging times. Where do you seek inspiration?

8. Practice Self-Compassion:

Be kind to ourselves during moments of low motivation. Self-criticism and guilt only exacerbate feelings of demotivation. Accept that motivation fluctuates and focus on nurturing yourself through those periods.

Motivation as a Process

By viewing motivation as a cultivated process rather than a finite resource, we empower ourselves to take proactive steps towards maintaining and enhancing it. It’s about continuous effort and adjustment rather than waiting for motivation to strike.

Remember, motivation isn’t a one-time acquisition but a journey of self-discovery and perseverance. By understanding what drives us, creating conducive environments, and adopting resilient mindsets, we can cultivate sustainable motivation. Embrace the process, celebrate progress, and remember—motivation thrives when nurtured consistently. So, let’s embark on this journey of cultivation, fueling our aspirations with determination and purpose.

Jul 17
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Ryan Avery being open vs being inviting

Being Open VS Being Inviting

By Communication, Leadership, Motivation No Comments

In our journey towards personal growth and fulfillment, there are two concepts I see often people (myself included) getting wrong or not paying attention too that that is the difference between being open versus being inviting.  Understanding the small nuances between these two concepts can significantly impact how we navigate our relationships, opportunities, and overall well-being.

Openness…

Being open encompasses a broad spectrum of attitudes and behaviors. It involves receptivity to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. When we are open, we embrace diversity, novelty, and change. It’s about breaking free from rigid mindsets and allowing ourselves to explore the unfamiliar with curiosity and without prejudice.

Openness extends beyond what some people might call tolerance; it’s about genuine acceptance and appreciation for the richness that different people, cultures, and ideas bring into our lives. It encourages us to challenge our assumptions, broaden our horizons, and evolve personally and intellectually.

Inviting…

On the other hand, inviting implies proactive engagement and deliberate choice. To invite means to actively seek out and welcome specific experiences, relationships, or opportunities into our lives. It’s about setting intentions and taking actionable steps to manifest our desires. There are different outcomes that happen in being open to feedback vs inviting feedback. There are different results for us when we are open to love and inviting love. There are different courses we can take when we are open to change versus inviting it.

Inviting involves clarity of purpose and the courage to pursue what resonates with our values and aspirations. It’s this proactive stance that empowers us to shape our reality rather than passively accepting what comes our way. By inviting, we align our actions with our goals and create pathways for meaningful connections and growth.

Why Invitation Matters

While openness fosters more of this broad-minded approach to life, invitation adds intentionality and direction. Together, they form some powerful synergy that enhances our personal development and overall satisfaction:

  1. Alignment with Goals: Inviting aligns our actions with our desires and goals, ensuring that we actively pursue what we truly want in life.
  2. Empowerment: It empowers us to take charge of our experiences and relationships, rather than feeling passive or reactive.
  3. Connection and Fulfillment: By inviting what we genuinely want into our lives, we cultivate deeper connections and experiences that resonate with our authentic selves.
  4. Growth and Adaptability: Openness combined with invitation promotes continuous learning, adaptation, and resilience in the face of challenges.

Staying inviting requires cultivating the mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. It involves letting go of fear or hesitation and trusting that there is enough space, opportunity, and love for what we desire. When we remain inviting, we signal to the universe and to ourselves that we are ready and deserving of positive experiences and relationships.

Ultimately for me, embracing both openness and invitation enriches our lives in profound ways. It encourages us to explore the world with curiosity, engage purposefully with others, and manifest our dreams into reality. So, let’s continue to nurture these qualities within ourselves and welcome the beauty of life’s possibilities with open arms and continue to be open while also being more inviting.

What is ONE invitation we can make this week that will bring more good things into our life? 

Jul 08
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Ryan Avery - Shifting Mindsets: From "Getting through" to "Getting to"

Shifting Mindsets: From “Getting through” to “Getting to”

By Motivation, Uncategorized No Comments

Shifting Mindsets: From “Getting through” to “Getting to”

My wife came up with a really great comparison the other day. In the ebb and flow of daily life, our mindset plays such a pivotal role in shaping our experiences. Consider this: how often do we approach tasks, obligations, or even opportunities with a sense of having to get through it so we can move on to the next rather than getting to do it without thinking of what is next? The distinction between “getting through” something and “getting to” do something might seem subtle, yet it profoundly impacts our outlook and, consequently, our well-being.

The “Getting Through” Mindset

When we approach life with a “Getting Through” mindset, our focus tends to center on obligation and necessity, while also taking us out of the present moment. It is the mindset that creates burdens to be endured rather than experiences to be appreciated. This mindset often leads to feelings of resentment, stress, and sometimes even burnout. Whether it’s work assignments, household chores, or personal commitments, viewing them through the lens of obligation or simply, “let me get through this” can drain our mental and emotional resources.

In the “Getting through” mindset, there’s a tendency to operate on autopilot, simply going through the motions without fully engaging or finding meaning in what we’re doing. This mindset can foster a sense of disconnection from our own experiences, leading to a less fulfilling and more anxious existence.

The “Getting To” Mindset

On the other hand, adopting the “getting to” mindset transforms how we perceive and approach tasks. It’s about shifting from obligation to opportunity, from duty to privilege. When we see things as something we “get to” do, there’s a shift in perspective—the recognition of the inherent value or benefit in what we’re undertaking.

Imagine reframing our daily routine: instead of saying “I have to go to work,” we say “I get to go to work,” acknowledging the opportunity to contribute, learn, and grow. This mindset encourages gratitude and mindfulness, prompting us to be more present in our experiences and to find joy in the seemingly mundane aspects of life. And yes, even on those stressful days this can help us out the most.

Staying Present and Planning for the Future

While embracing the “getting to” mindset enhances our present experiences, it doesn’t negate the importance of planning for the future. In fact, it complements it. Being present involves fully engaging with our current tasks and circumstances, appreciating them for what they are. This mindfulness not only improves our immediate well-being but also allows us to make more thoughtful decisions about our future.

Simultaneously, planning for the future is crucial for setting goals, cultivating aspirations, and creating our sense of direction in life. It involves envisioning where we want to be and taking intentional steps to get there. This balanced approach involves integrating present mindfulness with future-oriented planning, ensuring that we live with purpose and intentionality. We like to say in our family, “enjoy today and plan for tomorrow!”

Why It Matters

The shift from “getting through” to “getting to” isn’t simply about positivity—it’s about cultivating the mindset that promotes resilience, gratitude, and fulfillment. By embracing the mindset of opportunity rather than obligation, we empower ourselves to approach challenges with the more positive outlook and to extract meaning from even the most routine aspects of life.

For me, even in the last few days of practicing this, this mindset creates deeper connection with my own experiences (even the simplest ones) and encourages me to be more empathetic towards others. It has the opportunity to promote culture of appreciation and growth, both individually and collectively.

I fully believe the words we use (mindset) shape our reality. Choosing to see life through the lens of “getting to” rather than “getting through” can significantly enhance our well-being and satisfaction. By staying present in our experiences and simultaneously planning for the future, we strike the balance that allows us to live purposefully and joyfully. So, let’s embrace the opportunity in every task and endeavor—we “get to” shape our lives, one mindful moment at a time.

Jul 02
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Spending Time vs. Investing Time: Maximizing Our Productivity and Well-being

By Motivation No Comments

Spending Time vs. Investing Time: Maximizing Our Productivity and Well-being

I have been talking to my clients lately a lot about time management and one asked if I could write an article explaining the difference between spending time vs investing time. Time is the finite resource that we all possess equally, yet how we use it can drastically impact our lives. The choice between spending time and investing time can determine our productivity, personal growth, and overall satisfaction. In this article, I share and will explore the differences, pros, and cons of each approach, and provide practical strategies to enhance our time management skills.

Spending Time: Immediate Gratification or Waste?

Definition and Characteristics: Spending time refers to using time in activities that provide immediate gratification or fulfillment of basic needs without considering long-term benefits. This can include leisure activities, entertainment, and mundane tasks.

Pros:

  • Relaxation and enjoyment: Spending time on leisure activities can reduce stress and improve mental well-being.
  • Instant gratification: Immediate rewards can boost mood and motivation in the short term.

Cons:

  • Lack of long-term benefits: Activities may not contribute to personal or professional growth.
  • Potential for procrastination: Overindulgence in leisure activities can lead to neglect of important tasks and we can also spend too much time doing something. Remember things in moderation are okay, however are we being excessive with how we spend our time? For example, watching a Netflix series is great, are we watching an episode a night or are we binge watching the entire series before we go to bed?

Strategies for Effective Time Spending:

  1. Set boundaries: Allocate specific times for leisure and stick to them to prevent overindulgence.
  2. Prioritize tasks: Complete necessary tasks before engaging in leisure activities to reduce guilt and improve focus.
  3. Mindfulness: Practice being fully present during leisure time to enhance enjoyment and relaxation. Brené Brown does a great job talking about numbing vs nourishing in her book Daring Greatly.

Investing Time: Building Future Success and Growth

Definition and Characteristics: Investing time involves allocating time towards activities that contribute to long-term goals, personal development, and future success. This includes learning new skills, building relationships, and working towards career advancements.

Pros:

  • Personal growth: Continuous learning and skill development enhance capabilities and confidence.
  • Career advancement: Strategic investment of time can lead to promotions, new opportunities, and higher earnings.
  • Long-term fulfillment: Achieving goals and milestones provides lasting satisfaction and purpose.

Cons:

  • Initial effort and patience: Results from investing time may take longer to materialize compared to immediate gratification.
  • Balancing priorities: Focusing too much on long-term goals can neglect present needs and relationships if not managed effectively.

Strategies for Effective Time Investment:

  1. Set SMART goals (Doran, 1981): Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals provide clarity and motivation. I am a big fan of SMART goals.
  2. Create a schedule: Allocate dedicated time blocks for activities that contribute to long-term objectives. I schedule this time in my calendar so I can’t have a meeting and I prioritize investing time in my weekly schedule.
  3. Continuous learning: Regularly invest time in acquiring new knowledge and skills through courses, workshops, or reading. I provide some resources at the end of this article.

Finding Balance and Enhancing Time Management

Achieving the balance between spending and investing time is crucial for maximizing productivity and overall well-being. Here are additional strategies to help us manage our time effectively:

  • Prioritization: Use techniques like Eisenhower Matrix to distinguish urgent and important tasks.
  • Time blocking: Allocate specific time slots for different activities to maintain focus and productivity.
  • Technology tools: Utilize apps like Todoist, Trello, or Google Calendar to organize tasks and schedules effectively.
  • Delegate and outsource: Identify tasks that can be delegated or outsourced to free up time for high-priority activities.
  • Reflect and adjust: Regularly review our time management strategies and adjust them based on effectiveness and changing priorities.

Resources for Further Reading

For those looking to delve deeper into time management and productivity improvement, consider these recommended resources:

By consciously choosing how we spend and invest our time, we can enhance our productivity, achieve personal growth, and lead the fulfilling life we want. Remember, effective time management is not simply about doing more in less time it is about aligning our actions with our long-term aspirations and values while being ourselves, having fun and being THE!

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