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Why you should be more self-first!

By Motivation 2 Comments

This isn’t a hard thing to grasp, “You can’t give what you don’t have!” yet why can it be so hard to remember at times?

If you don’t have energy, you can’t give energy.
If you don’t love yourself, it will be difficult to love others.
You can’t teach what you haven’t learned.

So…

Are you sacrificing sleep and not eating healthy in an effort to get more done?
Are you hard on yourself when things go wrong or you make a mistake?

Are you digesting enough new information on a regular basis to stretch yourself?

It is time to be more self-first so you can give more to those who need it most!

The past month I have been going so fast I forgot to take care of myself and those important relationships. I have worked out irregularly. I have been teaching more than I have been learning. I have not done as many “fun/non-work related” things as I have liked.

I have been so focused on the success of my businesses and helping others, I forgot to take care of the most important person, me! In a society where we can look down on those who are selfish, it can be hard to rationalize giving more to ourselves so we should redefine it as self-first (as my wife likes to say). The more you give to yourself, the more you can give to others!

But if we are serious about changing the world, helping others and making a difference then we have to start with us! So while we continue to do the 31 Days of Kindness Challenge, I want to encourage you to look at how you are being kind to yourself.  What are you doing to be happy, have more energy and love yourself?

Should you go on a walk right now, set your phone down and look around outside?
Could you write down three things you have accomplished in the past three years that make you feel proud?
Can you take 30 minutes tonight to spend time with someone you love where you can laugh, play cards and have fun?

Yesterday I sat under a tree looking out at the water for a couple hours, read and enjoyed the sun. I slept in today, playing tennis with a friend on Saturday and am getting to work at a normal time. I learned from an old boss, “There will always be work to do, so learn to to be ok with never being finished, but always be hungry to do more.” 

So you should be more self-first because the more you give yourself, the more you can give others and we can all benefit from what you can have to offer! As always…

Dream BIG,
Ryan

“Everybody wants to change the world. Nobody wants to change themselves.” ~Leo Tolstoy

How to stop talking and start communicating!

By Motivation No Comments

I had the opportunity to have lunch with one of my new favorite authors,

He is a military man with a good heart and has dedicated his life to study the art of communication. His new book gives, “…counterintuitive strategies for learning how to interact productively and meaningfully in today’s digital world.” Something we all can improve on!

Stop talking start communicatingHis book is filled with dozens of tips and insightful strategies and here are three ways you should stop talking and start communicating.

Lose your friends!
Tumlin explains that, “Important relationship are being trumped by people you barely know!” Just because you hit the “like” button does not mean you are connecting. Humans are social animals. We need to feel connected. Tumlin writes, “Today it is possible to accumulate scores of friends and still feel lonely, be connected to hundreds of people and feel like no one is listening and spend hours at work, sending and responding to countless messages, but still feeling unproductive.” It is because we are focused on technology and not people. “The problem with a more tech-centered view of communication is that it encourages us to expect too much from our device and too little from each other.” You should start communicating more on a human bases so you can build real relationships, feel connected to others and feel like your voice is actually being heard! If you are feeling disconnected from others, lose your “friends” online who don’t add meaning or value to your life and focus on those around you. Tumlin says, “The main reason to prioritize isn’t to squeeze people out of your life; it’s to make sure that the most important people stay in it.”

Stop talking
In my opinion, communication is the foundation to all of your success. To many people are talking rather than effectively communicating! Talking is you getting your voice heard. Communicating is having all parties who are part of the conversation understand what it is you are saying! The better you are at being able to effectively  communicate what it is you want, the quicker you will be at receiving and reaching the goals you have for yourself, your company and your family. Think about a relationship you have built over time, that you lost one time due to one or two sentences? If you stop talking and start planning on ways to react to certain situations, you might be able to build better relationships and create lasting ones. Stop talking and don’t focus on what you want to say, focus on what you want to accomplish. The better communicator you are the better relationship you build and the better life you have.

Ryan Avery quote with George Bernard ShawIgnore your (telltale) heart
When communication problems arise, many of us just want to start talking instead of preparing what we want to say. According to ProFound, last year, productivity losses resulting from miscommunication costs companies $37 billion, or about $26,000 per employee per year, in the US and UK alone. We need to learn strategies and techniques that can help us improve our listening skills, ask the right questions to produce the right answers and minimize miscommunication across multiple communication channels like email, texting, face-to-face and social media. When we are able to effectively communicate to others, we improve productivity, we create clarity and we save money. All strategic communications (including the unexpected ones) benefit from preparation. Take time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it to minimize conflict, confusion and miscommunication between those you are speaking to. 

If you are looking or a book to read, pick up a copy of Stop Talking, Start Communicating and learn how to improve all areas of your life. Connect with Geoffrey and as always…

Dream BIG,
Ryan

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