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Sep 10

The Balance Between Ambition and Contentment: Striving for More While Appreciating What We Have

By Ryan Avery Communication, Motivation, Productivity No Comments

In today’s fast-paced, goal-driven world, ambition is often celebrated as the key to success. We hear it in motivational speeches, read it in business books, and see it played out in the lives of those we admire. But what happens when ambition takes over, leaving no room for contentment?

Is it possible to be both ambitious and content, and if so, how do we strike that delicate balance?

Being overly ambitious without the ability to appreciate where we are can lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and even unhappiness. On the flip side, being too content can cause stagnation, a lack of growth, and unfulfilled potential. Ugh, so what do we do? Well, the real magic lies in finding the balance between ambition and contentment—striving for more while also embracing the present moment.

The Importance of Ambition

Ambition drives us to reach new heights, push our limits, and set higher goals. It’s the force behind growth, achievement, and self-improvement. Without ambition, we wouldn’t challenge ourselves to improve or create new opportunities. It’s what keeps us moving forward. Ambition allows us to ask questions like, “How will this add value to my life?” It makes us consider how our goals and pursuits can enhance our personal and professional journeys.

Ambition is the fuel that ignites progress and achievement, pushing us toward our highest potential. But (and), unchecked ambition can become exhausting. Constantly striving for the next thing—whether it’s a promotion, financial success, or personal achievements—can create a cycle of “never enough.” (now I need to listen to The Greatest Showman, if you know you know)! This is where contentment plays the crucial role.

The Importance of Contentment

Contentment is the ability to find peace and satisfaction in the present moment. It allows us to appreciate what we have and where we are in life. When we are content, we give ourselves the gift of enjoying life as it is, rather than constantly yearning for what’s next. However, being too content can also pose challenges. If we’re too satisfied with where we are, we may miss opportunities for growth, become complacent, or fail to realize our full potential. Like ambition, contentment requires balance. This leads us to a question worth pondering: “Where can I do a better job of being more content?”

Maybe it’s in our personal lives, where we rush through each day without pausing to appreciate the relationships we’ve built. Or perhaps it’s in our careers, where we’re so focused on the next goal that we fail to acknowledge how far we’ve come. Contentment isn’t about settling or giving up on your dreams. It’s about finding joy in the journey, not simply the… yes cliché…destination.

Finding the Balance

So, how do we find a middle ground between these two powerful forces? Here are some key strategies I work on doing

1. Set Meaningful Goals: Aim for goals that align with our values, purpose, and long-term vision. This will ensure that our ambition is purposeful and fulfilling, rather than empty or exhausting. Ask, “How will this add value to my life?” If the answer isn’t clear, it might be time to reassess our goals.

2. Practice Gratitude: The simple yet powerful way to stay content is by practicing gratitude. Take time each day to reflect on what we are grateful for—whether it’s our health, relationships, or career progress. By focusing on what we have, rather than what we lack, we will naturally cultivate more contentment.

3. Enjoy the Journey: It’s easy to get so caught up in the end goal that we forget to enjoy the process, I have been so guilty of this myself in many stages of my life. Ask, “How can I enjoy being content?” The answer might lie in celebrating small wins, enjoying moments of rest, or simply appreciating the present for what it is.

4. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on our ambitions and whether they’re serving us in the best possible way. Are our goals still meaningful? Are they bringing joy, or mostly stress? Equally, reflect on areas where we may be too content. Where could we challenge ourself to grow or expand our comfort zone?

5. Create Space for Both: Balance doesn’t mean we have to alternate between being ambitious and content. We can embody both at the same time. We can be content with where we are in life while working toward future goals. The key is to create space in our life for both—to be present and grateful while still moving forward.

How Will This Add Value to My Life?

I have found that using that one question has helped me stay on track and have both contentment and ambition. I have also been asking myself lately, “How can I add more value to other people’s lives?” and this has brought me a lot of contentment and ambition. Balancing ambition with contentment allows us to experience the best of both worlds: growth and fulfillment. When we are ambitious, we push ourself to achieve more, which can lead to personal and professional growth. When we are content, we are able to enjoy what we have worked for, preventing burnout and fostering long-term happiness. By striking this balance, we can ask ourself how our goals will truly add value to our life, without getting caught in the endless pursuit of “more.” We will also learn to savor the present while still looking toward the future.

Living with Balance

Being both ambitious and content is one art that takes practice. It’s about setting meaningful goals while appreciating what we have. It’s about pushing ourself to grow while allowing ourself to rest and enjoy the present. By asking ourself questions like, “Where can I do a better job of being more content?”* and “How can I enjoy being content?” we begin to open the door to a more balanced, fulfilling life. Ultimately, learning to live with both ambition and contentment is the key to lasting happiness and success.

Sep 03

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What is the Difference Between a SIGN and a TEST?

By Ryan Avery Food for thought, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement No Comments

The difference between perceiving something as a “sign” that we shouldn’t proceed versus interpreting it as a “test” we should overcome lies primarily in our interpretation of events, mindset, and approach to the challenge. Here’s is the breakdown of these two concepts and would love to hear more about what you feel the difference is between these two…

Understanding “Signs”

I feel like seeing some event or obstacle as a sign implies that we believe external forces or circumstances are indicating that we should stop, change direction, or reconsider our current path. This interpretation can often stem from intuition, personal beliefs, or past experiences. Characteristics of seeing something as a sign:

Intuitive Guidance: We rely on our gut feeling or belief system to interpret events as indicators of what we should or shouldn’t do.
Preventative Action: Seeing something as a sign often leads to avoidance or cessation to prevent potential negative outcomes.
External Focus: Emphasis is placed on external events or coincidences as messages or warnings.

Example: If we are planning a trip and suddenly encounter numerous obstacles like canceled flights, lost reservations, or sudden illness, we might interpret these as signs that we shouldn’t go on the trip.

Understanding “Tests”

When we perceive an event or obstacle as a test it means we view challenges as opportunities to prove resilience, determination, and commitment. This perspective is often associated with personal growth and achieving goals despite difficulties and what I typically look a things as in my personal and professional life. Characteristics:

Growth Mindset: Challenges are seen as a normal part of any worthwhile endeavor and are embraced as learning experiences.
Persistence: We are motivated to overcome obstacles, believing that success lies beyond the difficulties.
Internal Focus: Emphasis is placed on our own abilities and determination to navigate through challenges.

Example: Using the same travel scenario, encountering obstacles like canceled flights might be seen as tests of your adaptability and determination to proceed with our plans despite setbacks because we really want to go to that location/vacation we have in our mind.

Determining the Appropriate Interpretation

Deciding whether to view an obstacle as a sign or a test depends on several factors for me:

Context: Consider the situation’s specifics and whether the obstacles are insurmountable or typical challenges.
Goals and Values: Reflect on how important the goal is and whether persisting aligns with our personal values and long-term objectives.
Patterns: Look for recurring patterns. A single obstacle might be a test, but persistent and escalating issues could be interpreted as signs.
Intuition vs. Rationality: Balance our gut feelings with logical assessment of the situation.
Advice and Perspective: Sometimes seeking external perspectives from trusted individuals can provide clarity.

Example Decision-Making: If pursuing a business venture, initial hurdles like funding issues could be normal tests of entrepreneurship. However, if serious legal problems or ethical concerns arise, these might be signs to reconsider or adjust our approach.

Blending Both Perspectives

It’s also possible to integrate both interpretations:

Adaptive Approach: Start by viewing challenges as tests, but remain open to interpreting persistent or severe obstacles as signs to adjust your path.
Reflective Practice: Regularly assess progress and obstacles, reflecting on whether to persist or pivot based on new information and experiences.

Understanding the difference between signs and tests can help us navigate life’s challenges more effectively. By carefully evaluating situations and reflecting on our responses, we can make informed decisions that align with our goals and well-being. What are your thoughts? Is this blog post a sign or a test you should do something about what you have been thinking about? 🙂

Aug 26

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Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

By Ryan Avery Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement No Comments

Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

I am in Boston this week keynoting. This past month has been my third best month financially in my company’s 12 years doing business. After my wife shared some insight from this mediation expert, Davidji, it got me thinking about all the change and transformations that have happened over the last decade and I couldn’t stop thinking about those two words, change & transformation. As leaders, we often find ourselves at the crossroads of change and transformation. Both are vital to our growth and success, yet they serve different purposes and lead to distinct outcomes. Understanding the difference between these two concepts can profoundly impact how we lead our teams, shape our strategies, and ultimately, achieve our goals.

The Nature of Change

Change is about making adjustments. It’s when we tweak a process, revise a strategy, or alter a behavior to adapt to new circumstances. Change is often reactive, driven by external pressures or the need to address immediate challenges. For instance, when we introduce a new tool to improve productivity or adjust our management style to better align with team dynamics, we are implementing change.

Change is essential because it allows us to stay relevant and responsive in a fast-paced world. However, change often operates on the surface level. It’s like rearranging the furniture in a room—while it may create a fresh environment, the fundamental structure remains the same. Change is necessary, but it can be limited in scope, offering incremental improvements rather than revolutionary shifts.

The Power of Transformation

Transformation, on the other hand, is about the complete shift in our approach, mindset, or identity. It’s this deeper, more profound process that fundamentally alters how we operate, think, and lead. Transformation is not simply about doing things differently; it’s about becoming different.

As leaders, transformation requires us to challenge our assumptions, embrace new paradigms, and be willing to step into the unknown. It’s about reimagining our leadership style, our organizational culture, and even our vision for the future. Transformation is proactive, driven by a desire to achieve higher purpose or to create lasting impact.

While change might involve adopting a new communication tool, transformation could mean redefining how we communicate altogether, fostering the culture of transparency and collaboration that permeates every level of the organization. Transformation is like remodeling a house—it changes the structure, the layout, and the very essence of the space, creating something entirely new.

Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

The distinction between change and transformation is crucial for us as leaders because it influences how we approach our roles and responsibilities. Here’s why it matters:

Depth of Impact: Change can solve immediate problems, but transformation creates long-lasting solutions. By focusing on transformation, we ensure that the changes we implement are sustainable and deeply rooted in our organization’s values and vision.
Resilience and Adaptability: In today’s volatile business environment, being able to adapt is essential. However, true resilience comes from transformation. When we transform, we build the foundation that allows us to thrive in the face of adversity, rather than simply survive.
Empowering Our Teams: As leaders, our goal is not simply to manage but to motivate/inspire and empower our teams. Transformation invites us to lead by example, showing our teams that growth is not solely about small changes but about embracing new ways of thinking and being. This, in turn, encourages them to pursue their own transformations.
Visionary Leadership: Change is often tactical, focusing on immediate needs. Transformation, however, is strategic and visionary. It pushes us to look beyond the present and envision the future that is radically different and better. By embracing transformation, we position ourselves as leaders who are not all about being reactive but are shaping the future.

As we navigate our leadership journeys, we must recognize when change is necessary and when transformation is required. Both are valuable, and transformation holds the key to creating a lasting impact and leading our organizations into the future with strength and purpose. Let’s challenge ourselves to go beyond mere adjustments and strive for profound, meaningful transformations that redefine what’s possible for us and those we lead.

Aug 20

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Why Being Part of a Crew is Better Than Just Being on a Team

By Ryan Avery Motivation No Comments

The Power of Being Part of The Crew: Why Being Part of The Crew is Better Than Simply Being on a Team

For the last five years I have worked with a group of leaders who have turned out to be some of my favorite people in business and life. I spent the last weekend on the lake with them and it got me thinking… in our professional and personal lives, we’re often asked to be part of a team, but is there a stronger word than team? Whether it’s at work, in sports, or within social circles, the concept of teamwork is ingrained in us. But what if I told you there’s something even more powerful than simply being on a team? Enter the idea of the crew. While a team might seem synonymous with a crew, there are key differences that set them apart—and it’s those differences that make being part of the crew a truly transformative experience.

The Team Mentality

When we think of a team, we often imagine a group of people working together towards a common goal. Teams are usually assembled with specific roles in mind, where each person brings their own expertise to the table. It’s a structured approach, with clear hierarchies and defined responsibilities. In a team, we might do our part, execute our tasks, and then move on to the next project.

However, in a traditional team setting, the connection between members can sometimes be superficial. We might collaborate, but do we truly connect? The focus is often on the tasks at hand rather than the relationships between us. This can lead to a dynamic where we’re working alongside each other rather than truly with each other.

What Makes The Crew Different?

The crew, on the other hand, is more than a group of people working together—it’s the tight-knit unit where every member is deeply connected to the others and everyone’s role matters, no matter how big or small their role is. In the crew, we don’t simply fulfill roles; we support each other, look out for one another, and share a common purpose that goes beyond individual tasks. The bonds in the crew are stronger because they’re built on mutual trust, respect, and a shared sense of responsibility.

When we’re part of the crew, we feel a sense of belonging that’s often missing in a traditional team. We’re not some cogs in a machine; we’re integral parts of the collective whole. This creates a sense of loyalty and commitment that drives us to go the extra mile—not solely for the project, rather for each other.

Why Being Part of The Crew is Better

Deeper Connections: On the crew, relationships are prioritized. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and we’re invested in each other’s success. This deeper connection fosters better communication, more effective collaboration, and the stronger sense of camaraderie.
Shared Accountability: In a team, accountability can sometimes feel isolated. We’re responsible for our own tasks, but what happens when someone falls short? On the crew, accountability is shared. We’re all in it together, so when one of us struggles, the rest step in to help. This collective responsibility leads to higher standards and better outcomes.
Unified Purpose: A team might have a common goal, but the crew has one unified purpose. We’re not simply working towards a goal; we’re driven by the shared mission that aligns with our values and aspirations. This unifying force creates powerful motivation that keeps us focused and resilient, even in the face of challenges.
Resilience and Support: Life isn’t always smooth sailing, and the same goes for our professional and personal journeys. When we’re part of our crew, we know we’ve got the support system that will stand by us through thick and thin. This resilience comes from knowing we’re not alone—we have our crew that’s got our back.
Long-Term Success: Teams often disband after a project is completed, but crews sticks together. The bonds we form in the crew are lasting, creating the network of support that we can rely on for years to come. This long-term connection contributes to sustained success and personal growth.

How to Build Our Crew

Building our crew doesn’t happen overnight—it takes time, effort, and the commitment to fostering genuine connections. Here are a few steps we can take to cultivate our own crew:

Prioritize Relationships: Focus on getting to know each other beyond the surface level. Invest time in understanding each other’s motivations, goals, and challenges.
Encourage Open Communication: Create the environment where everyone feels safe to share their thoughts and ideas. Encourage transparency and honesty in all interactions.
Support Each Other: Be there for each other, both professionally and personally. Celebrate attempts and successes together and offer a helping hand when someone is struggling.
Align on Values: Ensure that everyone in the crew shares common values and is committed to the same purpose. This alignment is key to maintaining unity and motivation.
Foster a Sense of Belonging: Make sure everyone feels like an integral part of the crew. Recognize each person’s contributions and create opportunities for everyone to shine.

Being part of a team has its advantages, but there’s something truly special about being part of the crew. It’s about more than simply working together—it’s about building deep connections, sharing accountability, and uniting around one common purpose. When we’re part of the crew, we’re about more than achieving goals; we’re growing together, supporting each other, and creating lasting bonds that enrich our lives.

So, the next time we’re asked to join a team, let’s take it one step further. Let’s build our crew. Because when we do, we’re stronger—we’re unstoppable.

Aug 12

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Why How We Feel Matters More Than How We Look

By Ryan Avery Leadership, Motivation No Comments

In our world where appearance often can takes center stage, it’s easy to get caught up in the quest for the perfect look. Social media is flooded with images of seemingly flawless people, leading many to equate our worth with physical appearance. However, I believe while looking good might bring temporary validation, it’s how we feel that truly impacts our lives in meaningful, lasting ways.

The Trap of Appearance

Most of us have heard the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” It’s true that how we present ourselves can influence how others perceive us. However, placing too much emphasis on outward appearance can lead to a superficial existence. When we focus solely on how we look, we might neglect deeper aspects of our well-being, such as emotional health, mental clarity, and self-worth. This can create a disconnect between our external image and our internal state, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression.

Moreover, the pressure to maintain a certain appearance can be exhausting. It’s a moving target—what’s considered attractive today might change tomorrow. Trends come and go, and trying to keep up can be overwhelming. This constant pursuit can distract us from what truly matters: how we feel inside.

The Power of Feeling Good

How we feel is the direct reflection of our inner state and our internal dialouge. When we prioritize our feelings, we’re tuning in to what our body, mind, and spirit need. This self-awareness allows us to make choices that align with our true selves, leading to greater fulfillment and happiness.

Feeling good isn’t simply about being happy all the time; it’s about being in touch with our emotions and understanding what they’re telling us. When we feel stressed, our body is signaling that something is off balance. When we feel energized, it’s the sign that we’re on the right path. By paying attention to these cues, we can make adjustments that improve our overall well-being.

Why Focusing on Feelings Leads to Better Results

Sustainable Health: When we focus on how we feel, we make choices that support our long-term health. Rather than following a restrictive diet simply to fit into a certain size, we choose nourishing foods that make us feel energized and vibrant. Instead of punishing ourselves with grueling workouts, we find physical activities that we enjoy and that leave us feeling strong and capable. I have been known to do this with things like The Whole 30 or P90X. Now I am focused on what best nourishes my body while doing activities I enjoy and move my body at the same time like paragliding and swimming.
Authentic Confidence: True confidence comes from within. It’s not about looking a certain way but feeling good about who we are. When we prioritize our feelings, we build the strong sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. This authentic confidence allows us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace.
Better Relationships: How we feel affects how we relate to others. When we’re in tune with our emotions, we can communicate more effectively and build deeper, more meaningful connections. By focusing on our inner state, we become better partners, friends, and colleagues.
Greater Success: Success is often seen as the result of hard work and perseverance, but it’s also about feeling good in the process. When we’re aligned with our true selves, we’re more motivated, creative, and productive. This leads to better outcomes in all areas of life, from our careers to our personal goals.

How to Shift the Focus from Looks to Feelings

Practice Mindfulness: Take time each day to check in with yourself. How do we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally? This awareness is the first step in making choices that support our well-being. Trying looking in the mirror today and saying nice things about yourself and to yourself! I have been doing this lately and it has been working really well for me!
Set Intentions Based on Feelings: Instead of setting goals based on appearance, set intentions based on how you want to feel. For example, aim to feel more energized, peaceful, or fulfilled. Let these intentions guide your actions.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who value you for who you are, not simply how you look. Positive relationships can reinforce the importance of inner well-being. Remember, “because they were your friend, does not mean they have to be your friend!”
Embrace Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax, self-care practices help you feel your best, both inside and out.Remember, “Self-care is not selfish!”

While it’s natural to care about how we look, it’s how we feel that truly shapes our lives. By prioritizing our feelings, we create a foundation of well-being that supports sustainable health, authentic confidence, better relationships, and greater success. In the end, feeling good is more than a goal—it’s the key to living the fulfilling, meaningful life we want. So, the next time we catch ourselves worrying about our appearance, take a moment to check in with how we feel. That’s where the real magic happens. Keep being THE!

Mar 30

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A BIG Mistake People Make With Their Business Cards

By Ryan Avery Motivation 4 Comments

I went to a couple of events last week and collected a bakers’ dozen worth of business cards. After the event, I sat down and responded personally to everyone whom I had met and connected with him or her online.

When I started emailing a few, I caught A BIG mistake people make with their business cards! The BIG mistake people make is when they put their “given” name rather than the name they want to be called, or the one they used when they introduced themselves. For example:

Susan, who really goes by Sue!

William, who really goes by Bill!

Jonathan, who really goes by his middle name, Jake!

Felecia, who really likes to be called Fay!

Don’t put a name on there that you don’t introduce yourself as, or you don’t want to be called! Also, if you are one of those people who say, “Oh, it doesn’t matter which one you call me, I go by Susan or Sue,” please pick one!

This happened to me a few years ago when I used to go by my last name, Avery. I had Ryan on my business card, but introduced myself as Avery.

I didn’t know how much I really confused people until this moment sitting down at my computer looking at four business cards with names of people who introduced themselves differently.

Having a different name on your card is very confusing for the person on the receiving end. It can make the person who is reaching out to you second guess themselves. They might look at the card and think, “I could have sworn she said her name was “X”, or “Well, if that is what he goes by, how do you think he spells it?”

Don’t let the first impression you give to people confuse them!

What do you want people to call you? Put that on your business card. I know, I know, you have a professional side that you are trying to portray, but remember, people don’t do business with business professionals; they do business with people!

We want to know the real you!

So, if you want to be called Sue, Bill, Jake, Fay – or anything else – let us know what your friends call you, because in business the more friends you have the more business opportunities you have!

Some of you need to reprint your business cards, today! As always…

Dream BIG,
Ryan

Dec 19

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GIVEAWAY: Merry Christmas Todayers

By Ryan Avery Motivation, Uncategorized 28 Comments

I want to wish all the Todayers out there a Merry Christmas from the Averys! For those Todayers who don’t celebrate Christmas I hope your holiday season has been amazing and you enjoy spending time with your family and friends, eating way too many cookies and watching enough reruns of A Christmas Story to last all year!

December is a month of reflection and opportunity to give thanks for those we care about most! This week we are spending time with our entire family. We haven’t all been together since Chelsea and I married four years ago, so it really means a lot to us!

With that, I have decided to take a week off and spend it with my family! My next article will pick back up on December 29th and we have an awesome schedule or articles already planned for 2015!

As for the GIVEAWAY: I have wrapped a present I want to send to one of you! If you want it, all you have to do is write in the comments below what you are thankful for this year and why! One random winner will be selected by December 29^th and the winner will be posted in the comment section. All I ask is if you are selected you are willing to share with the group what was in the box!

Soak up the time with your family and friends this week. I am looking forward to starting a new year with you in a few days! Merry Christmas, Happy Giveaway Day, and as always…

Dream BIG!
Ryan