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Mental Health vs. Mental Fitness: Why We Should Work Our Brains as Hard as Our Bodies

By Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal GrowthNo Comments

Mental Health vs. Mental Fitness: Why We Should Work Our Brains as Hard as Our Bodies

The first time I heard someone mention metnal fitness (in relation to mental health) was Simon Sinek. In recent years, there’s been a growing awareness about mental health, and rightfully so, however very little has been talked about in relation to mental fitness. And to me it is as important as physical health. While mental health is about managing mental illness and emotional well-being, mental fitness is all about strengthening the mind—building resilience, sharpening focus, and improving cognitive endurance. Like physical fitness, mental fitness requires consistent effort. Here’s why working our brains out is as essential as hitting the gym and how we can make that happen.

The Difference Between Mental Health and Mental Fitness

  1. Mental Health: This term refers to our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It includes managing stress, how we think and feel, and how we navigate life’s challenges. Mental health can be affected by trauma, stress, genetics, and lifestyle, and it often requires professional support when someone is dealing with mental illness, like anxiety, depression, or other mood disorders.
  2. Mental Fitness: Mental fitness is about proactively strengthening the brain, much like we do with our muscles. It focuses on cognitive abilities like memory, attention, focus, and emotional regulation. Building mental fitness helps us not simply respond better to stress and challenges but also enhances our overall cognitive capacity and emotional intelligence.

Why Work Out Our Brains?

Like your body, your brain needs regular stimulation to stay sharp. We wouldn’t expect to run a marathon without training our body, right? The same goes for our mind. If we want mental clarity, better focus, and resilience to stress, we’ve got to work for it.

  1. Builds Resilience: A well-trained mind handles stress and adversity better. By challenging our brain regularly, we enhance its ability to cope with tough situations and bounce back from setbacks more quickly.
  2. Improves Focus and Productivity: Mental fitness exercises improve cognitive functions like focus, memory, and problem-solving skills. This means better performance at work, in social settings, and in our personal life.
  3. Emotional Stability: As physical exercise releases endorphins, strengthening your mental fitness can help regulate emotions, keep our mood balanced, and reduce the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed by stress or anxiety.
  4. Prevents Cognitive Decline: Regular mental workouts help protect against age-related cognitive decline. Keeping the brain active and challenged slows down the onset of dementia and other neurodegenerative diseases.

How to Work Out Our Brain

Here are some effective ways to build our mental fitness:

  1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness exercises help enhance our awareness and focus. Meditation trains our brain to control our thoughts and emotions better, reducing stress and increasing clarity. Start with 5-10 minutes a day and gradually increase.
  2. Learn Something New: Challenge our brain by learning a new skill or hobby. Whether it’s picking up a musical instrument, learning a new language, or trying a new craft, our brain forms new neural connections, strengthening its capacity for learning and problem-solving.
  3. Physical Exercise: Believe it or not, physical exercise benefits mental fitness. Cardiovascular activities increase blood flow to the brain, which enhances memory and cognitive function. Yoga and Tai Chi are also excellent for both mind and body coordination, although I am not going to lie, I need to imporve my stretching durng Yoga 🙂
  4. Play Brain Games: Puzzles, brain teasers, and strategy games are fantastic ways to engage our mind. Apps like Lumosity or Elevate offer structured brain training programs to enhance memory, focus, and cognitive speed and they are great for me when I am on the plane.
  5. Journaling: Writing helps organize our thoughts and improves self-awareness. I am more of a jotter than a writer and that still helps me too. It can serve as a reflective practice that clarifies emotions, reduces mental clutter, and improves cognitive processing.
  6. Get Adequate Sleep: Sleep is essential for mental recovery and brain health. It’s when our brain processes information, solidifies memories, and repairs itself. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep to maintain mental sharpness. I know this can be hard for some of us who are parents to young kids too, so give ourselves some grace during this time.
  7. Healthy Diet: A diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, and nutrients like vitamin E and B vitamins supports brain function. What we eat can either fuel or fog our mental fitness, so nourish your brain with the right foods.
  8. Challenge Your Beliefs: Engage in conversations that make us think differently, read books that expand our comfort zone, or even take up debates on challenging topics (maybe avodi politics right now, ha). This kind of intellectual stretching helps us stay mentally flexible and open-minded.

Balance is Key

Mental health and mental fitness go hand in hand. While mental health ensures that we are emotionally well, mental fitness ensures that our minds are strong and resilient. As physical exercise keeps our bodies healthy, consistent brain workouts help keep our minds agile and adaptive.

Incorporating both into our life—being mindful of our emotional well-being and actively challenging our mind—will lead to the more balanced, fulfilled, and successful life.

October 1, 2024
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Experience vs. Experiences: Why Varied Experiences Matter More Than Time for Effective Leadership

By Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-ImprovementNo Comments

Experience vs. Experiences: Why Varied Experiences Matter More Than Time for Effective Leadership

I have found that in certain leadership circles, the concepts of “experience” and “experiences” are often confused or used interchangeably, but they carry distinct meanings and implications for our growth and effectiveness. For leaders, focusing on the depth and variety of our experiences is far more beneficial than merely counting the number of years we’ve been in a position.

Differentiating Experience from Experiences

Experience typically refers to the total amount of time spent in a specific role or field. For instance, having a decade of managerial experience indicates ten years of time in that position. However, this duration doesn’t necessarily reflect the range or diversity of situations encountered.

Experiences, however, encompass the varied situations and challenges faced over time. This includes different roles undertaken, teams led, obstacles overcome, and lessons learned. It’s not merely about how long we’ve been active but about the breadth and depth of the scenarios we’ve navigated.

Why Varied Experiences Outweigh Time Alone

  1. Breadth of Knowledge:
    • Experience: Simply accumulating time in one role or position might limit exposure to different facets of leadership. If our role remains static or we stay within a narrow scope, our knowledge may become restricted.
    • Experiences: Engaging in a variety of experiences—such as leading diverse teams, managing different projects, and working in various organizational cultures—expands our understanding. This comprehensive knowledge allows us to approach problems from multiple perspectives and develop innovative solutions.
  2. Adaptability and Growth:
    • Experience: Longevity in a position might sometimes lead to stagnation. Performing the same tasks in the same manner year after year can limit growth.
    • Experiences: Encountering new challenges and expanding our comfort zones foster adaptability. Leaders who actively seek and embrace diverse experiences are better prepared to handle unexpected situations and drive change effectively.
  3. Skill Development:
    • Experience: This is one of the biggest ones I mention to my clients, simply spending time in a role does not guarantee skill development. Skills improve through practice, feedback, and reflection.
    • Experiences: A broad range of experiences encourages the development and refinement of the more extensive set of skills. Experiences provide opportunities to learn and grow, enhancing our leadership capabilities.
  4. Perspective and Empathy:
    • Experience: Years spent in a single role might provide a limited perspective that remains unchallenged if not actively expanded.
    • Experiences: Exposure to diverse experiences helps us understand different viewpoints and contexts. This variety fosters empathy and improves our ability to connect with and lead diverse teams.
  5. Innovation and Creativity:
    • Experience: A narrow focus can sometimes result in a fixed mindset, where reliance on established methods prevails.
    • Experiences: Engaging in a range of experiences promotes creative thinking and innovation. Facing different challenges and environments stimulates new approaches and solutions.

Cultivating Valuable Experiences

To ensure our experiences are enriching and beneficial, here are a few things to consider…

  • Seek Diverse Opportunities: Look for projects or roles that challenge us in new ways. This could mean volunteering for cross-functional teams or exploring different industries.
  • Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on our experiences. What lessons have been learned? How can these lessons be applied moving forward?
  • Pursue Continuous Learning: Invest in learning opportunities such as courses, workshops, and mentorship to continually expand our knowledge and skills.
  • Embrace Change: Be open to change and new experiences. Expanding our comfort zones can lead to significant growth and development.
  • Relabel Failure: Instead of seeing things as a failure, label things as experiences so we know we are growing and expanding in ways others might not be.

All I wanted to share in this article is the idea that, in leadership, the quality and diversity of our experiences often outweigh the sheer quantity of time spent in a role. By focusing on cultivating a variety of experiences, we position ourselves to be more effective, adaptable, and innovative leaders. It’s not simply about how long we’ve been in the game, but how well we’ve played it, shoot, and how many plays we have been a part of (are we on the field or on the sidelines?). So, let’s seek out new challenges, embrace diverse experiences, and continuously strive to grow and evolve as leaders. Our leadership journey will be all the more impactful for it.

September 16, 2024
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Ryan Avery speaks about signs and tests

What is the Difference Between a SIGN and a TEST?

By Food for thought, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-ImprovementNo Comments

The difference between perceiving something as a “sign” that we shouldn’t proceed versus interpreting it as a “test” we should overcome lies primarily in our interpretation of events, mindset, and approach to the challenge. Here’s is the breakdown of these two concepts and would love to hear more about what you feel the difference is between these two…

Understanding “Signs”

I feel like seeing some event or obstacle as a sign implies that we believe external forces or circumstances are indicating that we should stop, change direction, or reconsider our current path. This interpretation can often stem from intuition, personal beliefs, or past experiences. Characteristics of seeing something as a sign:

  • Intuitive Guidance: We rely on our gut feeling or belief system to interpret events as indicators of what we should or shouldn’t do.
  • Preventative Action: Seeing something as a sign often leads to avoidance or cessation to prevent potential negative outcomes.
  • External Focus: Emphasis is placed on external events or coincidences as messages or warnings.

Example: If we are planning a trip and suddenly encounter numerous obstacles like canceled flights, lost reservations, or sudden illness, we might interpret these as signs that we shouldn’t go on the trip.

Understanding “Tests”

When we perceive an event or obstacle as a test it means we view challenges as opportunities to prove resilience, determination, and commitment. This perspective is often associated with personal growth and achieving goals despite difficulties and what I typically look a things as in my personal and professional life. Characteristics:

  • Growth Mindset: Challenges are seen as a normal part of any worthwhile endeavor and are embraced as learning experiences.
  • Persistence: We are motivated to overcome obstacles, believing that success lies beyond the difficulties.
  • Internal Focus: Emphasis is placed on our own abilities and determination to navigate through challenges.

Example: Using the same travel scenario, encountering obstacles like canceled flights might be seen as tests of your adaptability and determination to proceed with our plans despite setbacks because we really want to go to that location/vacation we have in our mind.

Determining the Appropriate Interpretation

Deciding whether to view an obstacle as a sign or a test depends on several factors for me:

  • Context: Consider the situation’s specifics and whether the obstacles are insurmountable or typical challenges.
  • Goals and Values: Reflect on how important the goal is and whether persisting aligns with our personal values and long-term objectives.
  • Patterns: Look for recurring patterns. A single obstacle might be a test, but persistent and escalating issues could be interpreted as signs.
  • Intuition vs. Rationality: Balance our gut feelings with logical assessment of the situation.
  • Advice and Perspective: Sometimes seeking external perspectives from trusted individuals can provide clarity.

Example Decision-Making: If pursuing a business venture, initial hurdles like funding issues could be normal tests of entrepreneurship. However, if serious legal problems or ethical concerns arise, these might be signs to reconsider or adjust our approach.

Blending Both Perspectives

It’s also possible to integrate both interpretations:

  • Adaptive Approach: Start by viewing challenges as tests, but remain open to interpreting persistent or severe obstacles as signs to adjust your path.
  • Reflective Practice: Regularly assess progress and obstacles, reflecting on whether to persist or pivot based on new information and experiences.

Understanding the difference between signs and tests can help us navigate life’s challenges more effectively. By carefully evaluating situations and reflecting on our responses, we can make informed decisions that align with our goals and well-being. What are your thoughts? Is this blog post a sign or a test you should do something about what you have been thinking about? 🙂 

September 3, 2024
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Ryan Avery in Boston

Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

By Business, Communication, Leadership, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self-ImprovementNo Comments

Changing vs. Transforming: Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

I am in Boston this week keynoting. This past month has been my third best month financially in my company’s 12 years doing business. After my wife shared some insight from this mediation expert, Davidji, it got me thinking about all the change and transformations that have happened over the last decade and I couldn’t stop thinking about those two words, change & transformation. As leaders, we often find ourselves at the crossroads of change and transformation. Both are vital to our growth and success, yet they serve different purposes and lead to distinct outcomes. Understanding the difference between these two concepts can profoundly impact how we lead our teams, shape our strategies, and ultimately, achieve our goals.

The Nature of Change

Change is about making adjustments. It’s when we tweak a process, revise a strategy, or alter a behavior to adapt to new circumstances. Change is often reactive, driven by external pressures or the need to address immediate challenges. For instance, when we introduce a new tool to improve productivity or adjust our management style to better align with team dynamics, we are implementing change.

Change is essential because it allows us to stay relevant and responsive in a fast-paced world. However, change often operates on the surface level. It’s like rearranging the furniture in a room—while it may create a fresh environment, the fundamental structure remains the same. Change is necessary, but it can be limited in scope, offering incremental improvements rather than revolutionary shifts.

The Power of Transformation

Transformation, on the other hand, is about the complete shift in our approach, mindset, or identity. It’s this deeper, more profound process that fundamentally alters how we operate, think, and lead. Transformation is not simply about doing things differently; it’s about becoming different.

As leaders, transformation requires us to challenge our assumptions, embrace new paradigms, and be willing to step into the unknown. It’s about reimagining our leadership style, our organizational culture, and even our vision for the future. Transformation is proactive, driven by a desire to achieve higher purpose or to create lasting impact.

While change might involve adopting a new communication tool, transformation could mean redefining how we communicate altogether, fostering the culture of transparency and collaboration that permeates every level of the organization. Transformation is like remodeling a house—it changes the structure, the layout, and the very essence of the space, creating something entirely new.

Why It Matters to Us as Leaders

The distinction between change and transformation is crucial for us as leaders because it influences how we approach our roles and responsibilities. Here’s why it matters:

  1. Depth of Impact: Change can solve immediate problems, but transformation creates long-lasting solutions. By focusing on transformation, we ensure that the changes we implement are sustainable and deeply rooted in our organization’s values and vision.
  2. Resilience and Adaptability: In today’s volatile business environment, being able to adapt is essential. However, true resilience comes from transformation. When we transform, we build the foundation that allows us to thrive in the face of adversity, rather than simply survive.
  3. Empowering Our Teams: As leaders, our goal is not simply to manage but to motivate/inspire and empower our teams. Transformation invites us to lead by example, showing our teams that growth is not solely about small changes but about embracing new ways of thinking and being. This, in turn, encourages them to pursue their own transformations.
  4. Visionary Leadership: Change is often tactical, focusing on immediate needs. Transformation, however, is strategic and visionary. It pushes us to look beyond the present and envision the future that is radically different and better. By embracing transformation, we position ourselves as leaders who are not all about being reactive but are shaping the future.

As we navigate our leadership journeys, we must recognize when change is necessary and when transformation is required. Both are valuable, and transformation holds the key to creating a lasting impact and leading our organizations into the future with strength and purpose. Let’s challenge ourselves to go beyond mere adjustments and strive for profound, meaningful transformations that redefine what’s possible for us and those we lead.

August 26, 2024
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Ryan Avery Weird

Why How We Feel Matters More Than How We Look

By Leadership, MotivationNo Comments

In our world where appearance often can takes center stage, it’s easy to get caught up in the quest for the perfect look. Social media is flooded with images of seemingly flawless people, leading many to equate our worth with physical appearance. However, I believe while looking good might bring temporary validation, it’s how we feel that truly impacts our lives in meaningful, lasting ways.

The Trap of Appearance

Most of us have heard the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” It’s true that how we present ourselves can influence how others perceive us. However, placing too much emphasis on outward appearance can lead to a superficial existence. When we focus solely on how we look, we might neglect deeper aspects of our well-being, such as emotional health, mental clarity, and self-worth. This can create a disconnect between our external image and our internal state, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression.

Moreover, the pressure to maintain a certain appearance can be exhausting. It’s a moving target—what’s considered attractive today might change tomorrow. Trends come and go, and trying to keep up can be overwhelming. This constant pursuit can distract us from what truly matters: how we feel inside.

The Power of Feeling Good

How we feel is the direct reflection of our inner state and our internal dialouge. When we prioritize our feelings, we’re tuning in to what our body, mind, and spirit need. This self-awareness allows us to make choices that align with our true selves, leading to greater fulfillment and happiness.

Feeling good isn’t simply about being happy all the time; it’s about being in touch with our emotions and understanding what they’re telling us. When we feel stressed, our body is signaling that something is off balance. When we feel energized, it’s the sign that we’re on the right path. By paying attention to these cues, we can make adjustments that improve our overall well-being.

Why Focusing on Feelings Leads to Better Results

  1. Sustainable Health: When we focus on how we feel, we make choices that support our long-term health. Rather than following a restrictive diet simply to fit into a certain size, we choose nourishing foods that make us feel energized and vibrant. Instead of punishing ourselves with grueling workouts, we find physical activities that we enjoy and that leave us feeling strong and capable. I have been known to do this with things like The Whole 30 or P90X. Now I am focused on what best nourishes my body while doing activities I enjoy and move my body at the same time like paragliding and swimming.
  2. Authentic Confidence: True confidence comes from within. It’s not about looking a certain way but feeling good about who we are. When we prioritize our feelings, we build the strong sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. This authentic confidence allows us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grace.
  3. Better Relationships: How we feel affects how we relate to others. When we’re in tune with our emotions, we can communicate more effectively and build deeper, more meaningful connections. By focusing on our inner state, we become better partners, friends, and colleagues.
  4. Greater Success: Success is often seen as the result of hard work and perseverance, but it’s also about feeling good in the process. When we’re aligned with our true selves, we’re more motivated, creative, and productive. This leads to better outcomes in all areas of life, from our careers to our personal goals.

How to Shift the Focus from Looks to Feelings

  • Practice Mindfulness: Take time each day to check in with yourself. How do we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally? This awareness is the first step in making choices that support our well-being. Trying looking in the mirror today and saying nice things about yourself and to yourself! I have been doing this lately and it has been working really well for me!
  • Set Intentions Based on Feelings: Instead of setting goals based on appearance, set intentions based on how you want to feel. For example, aim to feel more energized, peaceful, or fulfilled. Let these intentions guide your actions.
  • Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who value you for who you are, not simply how you look. Positive relationships can reinforce the importance of inner well-being. Remember, “because they were your friend, does not mean they have to be your friend!” 
  • Embrace Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax, self-care practices help you feel your best, both inside and out.Remember, “Self-care is not selfish!”

While it’s natural to care about how we look, it’s how we feel that truly shapes our lives. By prioritizing our feelings, we create a foundation of well-being that supports sustainable health, authentic confidence, better relationships, and greater success. In the end, feeling good is more than a goal—it’s the key to living the fulfilling, meaningful life we want. So, the next time we catch ourselves worrying about our appearance, take a moment to check in with how we feel. That’s where the real magic happens. Keep being THE!

August 12, 2024
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The Difference Between Being Interested and Being Invested

By Leadership, MotivationNo Comments

The Difference Between Being Interested and Being Invested

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to find ourselves interested in a multitude of things. We might have hobbies, aspirations, and casual pursuits that capture our attention for a while. But there’s difference between being interested in something and being invested in it. This distinction can shape our personal and professional lives in significant ways.

Interest: The Spark of Curiosity

Interest is often the initial spark of curiosity. It’s the feeling we get when something catches our eye and we think, “That’s cool” or “I’d like to know more about that.” Interest is:

  • Casual: Interest is often casual and doesn’t require a deep commitment. We can be interested in many things simultaneously without dedicating substantial time or resources to them.
  • Flexible: Our interests can change quickly. One week we might be fascinated by photography, and the next, we are diving into the world of cooking.
  • Low Stakes: Being interested in something doesn’t carry significant consequences. If our interest wanes, there’s little lost.

Interest is crucial because it’s the first step toward deeper engagement. It allows us to explore and discover what truly resonates with us. The thing that is important for us to remember, for those things that matter most, interest alone isn’t enough.

Investment: The Commitment to Growth

Investment, on the other hand, goes beyond mere curiosity. It involves deliberate and sustained commitment to growth and improvement. Being invested in something means:

  • Time and Effort: Investment requires dedicating significant time and effort. It’s not simply about dabbling; it’s about immersing yourself fully.
  • Consistency: Unlike interest, which can be fleeting, investment requires consistency. It’s about showing up regularly, even when it’s challenging.
  • Resources: Investment often involves allocating resources, whether it’s money, energy, or emotional bandwidth. We are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of our commitment.
  • Long-Term Perspective: Being invested means we are in it for the long haul. We are not simply looking for immediate gratification rather are focused on long-term rewards and growth.

Why the Difference Matters

Understanding the difference between interest and investment can have a profound impact on our life and goals. Here’s why:

  1. Goal Achievement: Many of our most significant achievements require investment, interest is not enough. Whether it’s building the successful career, cultivating that meaningful relationship, or mastering one skill, investment is key to reaching our goals.
  2. Personal Fulfillment: True fulfillment often comes from those areas where we are deeply invested. I personally believe that the sense of accomplishment and growth from long-term dedication is far more rewarding than the temporary pleasure of casual interest.
  3. Impact: When we are invested, our actions have greater impact. In professional settings, being invested can lead to leadership roles, higher levels of success, and more significant contributions to our field.

Turning Interest into Investment

So how do we turn an interest into investment? Here are a few steps:

  1. Identify What Matters: Reflect on our interests and identify which ones resonate most deeply. These are the areas where investment might be worthwhile.
  2. Set Clear Goals: Define what we want to achieve. Clear, actionable goals can help transform a casual interest into one committed investment.
  3. Allocate Resources: Be willing to dedicate the necessary time, effort, and resources. This might mean scheduling regular practice sessions, seeking out mentors, or investing in quality tools and materials.
  4. Stay Consistent: Consistency is key. Even when motivation wanes, stick with it. The rewards of investment come with time and sustained effort.
  5. Embrace Challenges: Understand that investment involves overcoming obstacles. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks.

While interest is a valuable starting point, investment is what drives true growth and achievement. By understanding the difference and committing to the areas that matter most, we can turn our interests into investments that shape the more fulfilling and impactful life we want. Whether it’s in our personal or professional endeavors, being invested will always take us further than just being interested. What are your thoughts?

August 6, 2024
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Ryan Avery being open vs being inviting

Being Open VS Being Inviting

By Communication, Leadership, MotivationNo Comments

In our journey towards personal growth and fulfillment, there are two concepts I see often people (myself included) getting wrong or not paying attention too that that is the difference between being open versus being inviting.  Understanding the small nuances between these two concepts can significantly impact how we navigate our relationships, opportunities, and overall well-being.

Openness…

Being open encompasses a broad spectrum of attitudes and behaviors. It involves receptivity to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. When we are open, we embrace diversity, novelty, and change. It’s about breaking free from rigid mindsets and allowing ourselves to explore the unfamiliar with curiosity and without prejudice.

Openness extends beyond what some people might call tolerance; it’s about genuine acceptance and appreciation for the richness that different people, cultures, and ideas bring into our lives. It encourages us to challenge our assumptions, broaden our horizons, and evolve personally and intellectually.

Inviting…

On the other hand, inviting implies proactive engagement and deliberate choice. To invite means to actively seek out and welcome specific experiences, relationships, or opportunities into our lives. It’s about setting intentions and taking actionable steps to manifest our desires. There are different outcomes that happen in being open to feedback vs inviting feedback. There are different results for us when we are open to love and inviting love. There are different courses we can take when we are open to change versus inviting it.

Inviting involves clarity of purpose and the courage to pursue what resonates with our values and aspirations. It’s this proactive stance that empowers us to shape our reality rather than passively accepting what comes our way. By inviting, we align our actions with our goals and create pathways for meaningful connections and growth.

Why Invitation Matters

While openness fosters more of this broad-minded approach to life, invitation adds intentionality and direction. Together, they form some powerful synergy that enhances our personal development and overall satisfaction:

  1. Alignment with Goals: Inviting aligns our actions with our desires and goals, ensuring that we actively pursue what we truly want in life.
  2. Empowerment: It empowers us to take charge of our experiences and relationships, rather than feeling passive or reactive.
  3. Connection and Fulfillment: By inviting what we genuinely want into our lives, we cultivate deeper connections and experiences that resonate with our authentic selves.
  4. Growth and Adaptability: Openness combined with invitation promotes continuous learning, adaptation, and resilience in the face of challenges.

Staying inviting requires cultivating the mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. It involves letting go of fear or hesitation and trusting that there is enough space, opportunity, and love for what we desire. When we remain inviting, we signal to the universe and to ourselves that we are ready and deserving of positive experiences and relationships.

Ultimately for me, embracing both openness and invitation enriches our lives in profound ways. It encourages us to explore the world with curiosity, engage purposefully with others, and manifest our dreams into reality. So, let’s continue to nurture these qualities within ourselves and welcome the beauty of life’s possibilities with open arms and continue to be open while also being more inviting.

What is ONE invitation we can make this week that will bring more good things into our life? 

July 17, 2024
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Ryan Avery Keynoting at MDRT and sharing how not to take things personally

How to Not Take Things Personally

By Leadership, MotivationNo Comments
Ryan Avery Keynoting at MDRT and sharing how not to take things personally

How to Not Take Things Personally

with Ryan Avery

This week I am in Vegas and have the opportunity to learn something I have been struggling with for a while, how not to take things personally! In our daily interactions, whether at work, with friends, or within our families, it’s common to encounter situations that can easily be taken personally. Someone’s offhand comment or a colleague’s critique might trigger feelings of defensiveness or hurt. Learning not to take things personally is not simply about building thicker skin; it’s one skill that can lead to better relationships and improved mental well-being. Here are some practical strategies to help us master this valuable art of not taking things personally…

1. Understand the Principle: We Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Actions or Reactions

One of the fundamental keys to not taking things personally is recognizing that each person is responsible for their own words, actions, and emotions. As all of us have autonomy over our thoughts and behaviors, others have the same autonomy. When someone reacts negatively or says something hurtful, it often reflects their own perspective, experiences, and state of mind at that moment. It’s not a reflection of our worth or value as a person.

2. Practice Empathy and Perspective-Taking

Empathy involves putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and understanding where they might be coming from. Consider factors such as their background, current stressors, or even their own insecurities that might be influencing their behavior. By adopting a broader perspective, we can often see that their actions or words are more about them than about us.

3. Separate Facts from Interpretations

When something happens that feels personal, take a step back and objectively analyze the situation. Identify the facts—what actually occurred—and distinguish them from our interpretations or assumptions about the other person’s intentions. Often, misunderstandings arise from jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst about someone’s motives.

4. Cultivate Self-Awareness and Self-Confidence

Build our own strong sense of self-awareness and self-confidence so that external criticisms or negative remarks don’t shake our core identity (this one is the hardest for me and has been something I have been working on for a while). Know our strengths, values, and limitations. When we are secure in who you are, we are less likely to feel threatened by others’ opinions or behaviors.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation

Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help us stay present and calm in the face of challenging situations. By practicing emotional regulation, we can respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively when confronted with something that feels personal.

6. Communicate Effectively

Open and honest communication is essential for avoiding misunderstandings and resolving conflicts. If something bothers us, let’s express our feelings calmly and assertively, focusing on the impact of the behavior rather than assuming someone has some bad intent.

Mastering the art of not taking things personally requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to see situations from different perspectives. Remember, we are all navigating our own complex inner worlds, and much of what happens around us is not a direct reflection of who we are. By implementing these strategies, we can cultivate healthier relationships, reduce stress, and maintain our own stronger sense of self in various social and professional settings. Ultimately, it’s about empowering ourself to choose how we respond to the world around us, rather than letting external factors define your inner peace.

June 18, 2024
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Go From Could To Can With Ryan Avery

Go From Could to Can

By Communication, Leadership, MotivationNo Comments

Many of us are starting to look at setting our goals for 2021.

When doing so, here is one small difference I found that makes all the difference in motivating me to want to follow up and follow through with goals I have been contemplating.

Try it out this week with any decision you have and see how it changes our ability to act on our ideas. Here is the video…

November 29, 2020
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What Are You Not Thankful For Ryan Avery

What Are You NOT Thankful For?

By Communication, Family & Personal Life, Leadership, MotivationNo Comments

Every year in America, millions of families sit down together to talk about and share what they are thankful for. However, one thing we don’t talk about is… what are we NOT thankful for?

In this week’s notes I challenge us to think about what we are NOT thankful for and why. Here is the video:

What are you not thankful for and what can you do about it or how can you change your perspective around the thing you are not thankful for?

November 22, 2020
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